Dec 25, 2010

Ho !

Florin : We’re gonna spend the Christmas at my folks this year.

Me : I think you’ve mistaken the pronoun there.

Florin : Do NOT tell me you don’t wanna come!

Me : Fine. I won’t tell you. Just don’t expect me there.

Florin : Are you serious ? What do you wanna do, stay at home alone ? Christmas is a time to spend with family!

Me : Yeah sure… YOUR family.

Florin : Criss, we are married. My family is your family.

Me : That’s like saying that just because we're married, my money is your money. I mean, maybe, in theory, if it’s a really lousy theory. But in reality ? You wish!

Florin : Uhm… you. have. no. money.

Me : Whatever bitch, point is that if I did have money it would all be mine!

Florin : You’re gonna make me say bad things you know.

Me : About my mamma ?

Florin …the fuck ??!!

Me : Cos that’s what I was just thinking, that you’re gonna end up making me say bad things about your mamma. See how much we think alike ?

Florin : You're talking like you’re in one of your videos. It’s really annoying and not funny at all.

Me : Your face is annoying and not funny at all.

Florin : So are you coming ?

Me : Yo’ mamma is so fat she …she… really needs to lose some weight ?

Florin : Look, it’s just this one night, it will be over before you know it. And if you behave, I bet Santa will have a little surprise for you.

Me : Stop talking to me like I'm a child!

Florin : There will even be cookies.

Me : Hmmm… am I allowed to ask your mom who will win in an epic battle between Santa and Baby Jesus ?

Florin : Please be serious.

Me : I mean, they both must be sick and tired of sharing the spotlight on Christmas. And I know it’s tempting to say Baby Jesus because he’s, like, God and all that bullshit … but he is just an infant and Santa looks quite fit for his age.

Florin : Ok, fine, don’t come! Just out of curiosity, if the house burns down while I’m gone and you die in the fire, how long do you think before it is socially acceptable for me to start dating again ?

Me : Marry Christmas baby!

Florin : I love you! (Ok, he didn’t really say “I love you” but I could tell that's what he meant from the loving way he slammed the door on his way out)

Happy Festivus y'all ! And btw ... Santa or Baby Jesus, who wins and why ?

UPDATE : Reading the comments I can see that some people think both me and Florin were actually 100% serious throughout our conversation. All I can say is ... oh boy :)

Nov 6, 2010

Why I'm Against Sharia Courts in the West

In an attempt to better explain my position, I want to argue the two main points I heard proponents making. 

1. Sharia Courts are only limited to civil matters.

I can think of only a few things more damaging to a society than civil matters being settled under religion-based laws. And as hard as I try, I can't understand why the proponents choose to ignore the FACT that Muslim Arbitration Tribunals and Sharia Courts are discriminatory, especially against women and children. 

One year after Sharia Courts started operating in UK, crime correspondent  Richard Edwards published an article with some interesting findings. From August 2007 to September 2008, Muslim Tribunal Courts have dealt with six cases of domestic violence between married couples and. In each of these cases, the judges ordered the husbands to take anger management classes. There was no further punishment and all six wives withdrew the police complaints they had filed. 

In another case of inheritance dispute, the estate of a Midlands man was divided between his two sons and three daughters. The judges gave the sons twice as much as the daughters. 

I am only mentioning a couple of cases to point out what should be to no one's surprise : the discriminatory nature of these Courts. 

Under Sharia, sons inherit twice as much as daughters. A man's testimony is worth more than a woman's. A husband can divorce his wife simply by repudiating her, while the wife must provide "valid" reasons for divorce, which are usually very difficult to prove. Also, a woman's marriage contract is between her husband and her male guardian. A divorced woman who remarries loses custody of her children.  And the list can go on. 

2. It's their choice.

Proponents also argue the voluntary nature of Sharia Courts. That if both parties agree, then it's nobody's business to judge the rulings as being arbitrary/discriminatory. But the reality is that both parties do NOT agree, that's why they appeal to the Court's ruling. You file a case in Civil Court when you think you've been hurt financially or physically. And while the proponents argue that Sharia Courts are an alternative, just another option available to Muslims, the reality is that for many people this actually means taking away the only option to a fair hearing. How can a Muslim woman stand up against her family and community and ultimately, against God's system of law, when such a system is "available" ? And how many of these women are even aware of their rights under secular laws ?

Feel free to comment. 

As an end note, I have to expresse that I am simply appalled by how many people think that implementing religious Courts of Law in secular societies is a good idea, even when confronted with the text and application of these laws. 

I do defend people's right to practice their religion freely. But I can't, for the life of me, accept religion as a legal authority. Not in civil matters, not in any matters. 

Nov 1, 2010

What you don't wanna hear during sex

I love Twitter. It's like the most efficient way to spread vital information from which everybody can benefit. Information like this : 

But some people just don't seem to get it. It's like they don't want to be informed. And as if it wasn't bad enough that they are willingly, like, choosing to be ignorant, they also seem to actively hate on us, the normal ones.  
I'm gonna call this particular group of people "twignorants". Which should totally be a word from now on.

And one of the prime examples of twignorants is dprjones. BEHOLD! :

I know, right ?? It's all sorts of depressing to witness something like this. Kinda like watching Titanic, only without the sex.

And speaking of sex, in a last attempt to educate these people about the importance of Twitter, this is from earlier today :

Well, if you weren't a twignorant, you would have known what people don't wanna hear during sex, like, HOURS ago. Stuff like this :

  • "Yeah, I've been meaning to see a doctor about that..."
  • "Is it in yet ?"
  • "Excuse me sir, my name is Chris Hansen"
  • "Your father used to like the same thing!"
  • "What do you mean, IN? I'm finished!"
  • My granmum asking, "Where's the sugar, again?"
  • My partner yelling out their own name
  • "I don't think its contagious"
  • "You really need to paint your ceiling"
  • "Oh, now I remember why I became a lesbian..."
  • "John! Oh JOHN! Oh JOHNNNNNNNNNNNN!" (My name is Phillip)
  • "Wow, it's like a penis, but smaller!"
  • "You remind me of my uncle!"
  • "Sex never felt that good when I was a man"
  • “Can you put your socks back on please?”
  • "I am actually sixteen..."
  • "Do you mind if I turn on the TV?"
  • "You're the best. This evening"
  • Snoring
  • A sheep's "bahhh"
  • "Heil Hitler!"
  • "Luke. I am your father." 

See ? This is the reason why Twitter is awesome and dprjones totally fails. 

Oct 31, 2010

It's all about getting scared and eating candy!

So I made a commitment to myself to write here at least once a week from now on, which is unfortunate for both of us : for me because I rarely get inspired, and for you because … well … I’ll show up in your blog subscriptions or e-mail and then you’ll feel compelled to click on my post just because you ARE already subscribed, and ignoring me would be rude, plus I know you're afraid of gypsy spells (which I totally need to learn how to do asap if I wanna have any viewers).
The honest truth is that I do like to write, and the even more honest truth is that I can’t write for shit. Seriously. Like, I need AntiBullshitMan to tell me where to properly put commas. I'm not even making this up. Go me!

And if this wasn't enough, yesterday I opened a movie reviews blog, just in case you feel masochistic enough to subscribe to that too : RadCinema

But the main point of this post is to wish everyone a Happy Halloween! Generally I'm not a fan of holidays, but if I were to celebrate only one of them, this would be it. Because I love all things scary. And also because I love candy. I can't really tell why, but Halloween seems like the best excuse ever to stuff your face with candy. Too bad for me (and for the candy shop owners) that we don’t really celebrate Halloween here. We don't have a “trick or treat” tradition, we are apparently incapable of making good use of pumpkins, and we don’t even get to dress like sluts and then put some bunny ears on our heads and call that a costume. It sucks.

On a happier note (I guess?), someone did scare me today, even though it was unintentional. My neighbor sometimes gets herself locked out because her door locks itself automatically, which may be great for security reasons, but it’s also not-great because of “my neighbor is a dumbass and always forgets her key inside the house” reasons. That, or she has Alzheimer. Which I really doubt, because she is only 23 and also because she never forgets to tell me at the end of the month that I have to pay my share for the mail service. Which is fucking annoying because I never get any mail, like EVER! Except for once or twice a month when I find an envelope in my mail box and I get super excited and I'm all “Oooh! A LETTER!”, but then it’s just bills. Fuck my life!

Anyway, I am the one who suffers the consequences every time my neighbor gets herself locked out because she gave me a spare key to her house for this purpose alone, probably knowing that she’s an idiot. So she starts ringing on my door, obviously waking me up since it was only 1 PM y'all ! And I go to open the door, not knowing that she finally brought home her doggy that she always talks about but for some reason she never cared to tell me that this “doggy” is THE SIZE OF A WELL FED PONY and that he starts barking uncontrollably every time an unsuspecting victim who just got out of bed opens the door for his idiot owner who always forgets her key.

What happened after that is a bit fuzzy, because when that OVERSIZED THING started barking I kinda went into a “shock mode" and I vaguely remember that I screamed and that people were looking at me funny and that my neighbor was like “OMG I can’t believe you are afraid of a dog” and I was like “well at least I’m not dumb enough to constantly lock myself out of my own house even though I totally don't have Alzheimer as an excuse, so I win!”, but I think I only said that in my mind, which is a good thing because that dog is fucking scary.

And since it’s Halloween and I just got scared shitless, I went and bought myself a tone of candy because, after all, that's tradition. Or something.

P.S. : Happy birthday Jerry ! I know you wanted me to make a scary video but since I couldn't, I can only hope my usage of commas is scary enough.

Sep 24, 2010

Assisted Suicide

The following post is an addendum to my "Right to Die" video , please go ahead and watch that first if you haven't already.

I know that when most people are thinking about what suicide means, they have some images in mind... images of teenagers who cut their wrists in the bathroom or empty their mom's bottle of sleeping pills. This is usually far from the reality of someone who actually intends to take their own life. Wrist cutting and medicine overdose are (very often) deliberate forms of self harm or cries for attention, rather than suicide attempts. For the people who are indeed set to do it, the methods are much more brutal and the images much more shocking. The most common ways of suicide are by firearms and hanging. Other methods include jumping from hights, throwing self in front of a train or another moving vehicle, deliberate pesticide poisoning, intentionally crashing the car, setting self on fire or throat slitting.

So where am I going with this ? I am not trying to be morbid, but to simply point out that most suicide attempts are not really "attempts". The people who truly want to kill themselves are most of the time either successful or end up mutilated. The popular image of the depressed adolescent who "tries to commit suicide" is actually describing something else : a depressed adolescent who has indeed serious issues and fakes a suicide attempt as a cry for help. Most of them do it in their own homes, which is the place they are most likely to be found, and between the hours of 4 P.M. and midnight, which is the time of the day when someone is most likely to be around. These people don't really want to die, they want to be rescued. And don't get me wrong. These kids are NOT drama whores. They DO need help and if they are desperate enough to go to these extremes, it is a clear indication that they are going through serious issues. They must not be taken as a joke or ignored!

However, the people who intend to commit suicide are a different matter. They WANT to die. They will choose a way to make sure they end up dead. And they should not have to go through that. Weather you like it or not, some people make the decision that their life is not worth living. It is not YOUR choice to make, it is not YOUR life. And you shouldn't have a saying in it. Making assisted suicide available for them is not an encouragement, but an act of mercy and compassion. To believe that legalizing this will actually make more people want to do it, simply has no basis. People, as a general rule, desire to live. This won't change just because they have an option to die pain-free.

I know that most of you reading my blog and watching my videos are from the U.S. You don't have a social health-care system there yet, so this may sound strange. But my proposal is to make assisted suicide part of the health-care plan. It would be free, same as the psychiatric evaluation and assistance (those things are already free of charge in most European countries where a good health-care system is in place).

I'm going to stop here because I will probably make a second part ... I suspect it will be necessary once the comments to my video start piling up.

Sep 21, 2010

Summer 2010

I forgot I had this footage from when Larry Kamerman was here ... thought I might as well do something with it . You get to see a bit of Romania too :) Oh well...

Sep 8, 2010

Respecting the Dead

In my last YouTube video dealing with this entire "Mosque at Ground Zero" fiasco, I stated this :

<< Personally , I don’t give a crap about respecting the dead. They’re just … well…dead.. “Respecting” them is a social construct that has no meaning to me and I couldn’t care less about it. >>

Many people misinterpreted what said and were even offended by my words, as I could see from their comments. I don't understand exactly why, since I followed my statement with an explanation that, at the time, I thought it would make my point clear :

<< But I’m not an insensitive asshole and I can acknowledge that most people do see value in it. So, even if I didn’t care about this mosque, I did think it is in poor taste and I could understand why the families of the 9/11 victims would be offended by it . >>

Still, I received a number of comments "disagreeing" with me. What is there to disagree on ? My ...feelings ? I never said I am against people being affected by what happens to their loved ones AFTER they die. It's just that I (as in "me", "myself", right ?) am not. What is so offensive about that ?

I actually thought it was a bit funny how some people were trying to trigger an emotional response from me by insulting the people who (they thought) I loved and passed away. Starting with my "dead grandma" who is still alive, and ending with my dead hypothetical children that I will never have. Some of them went to very "gruesome" and explicit details of what they would do to my dead ones. The strongest emotional response they got out of me was "Ew!".

No, I don't care if someone insults my dead loved ones. I don't believe in any form of life after death and since they are dead, they obviously can't be affected by insults. I also don't care if someone "disrespected" their dead bodies, I have absolutely no emotional attachment to their corpses. I do value the memories I have about them. I cherish the little things I have left from them, sometimes I get nostalgic when I hear a song that my grandfather used to love, sometimes I go through the pictures I have with them, sometimes I even think "what would they say about this" when I do something I know they wouldn't like or they would appreciate. But I never visit their graves, their physical remains hold no importance to me.

If you are offended by this, I would have to ask why ? Are you offended by me thinking this or by me saying it ? And what meaning is there in honesty if you are offended by me simply saying what I think ?

Btw ... it's not like you will see me go around and "insulting" dead people, like my "sensitive" commenters tried to do. I would never do that because I know that most people feel differently than I do, and I can understand and respect THAT. I just personally don't relate to it . That's all.

Aug 24, 2010

Cribs Yo' !

So I was filming on a project for Larry Kamerman when I had this idea to do a lil' Cribs parody. Btw, this aint really "my place" so the mess around is TOTALLY not my fault. I swear!

May 21, 2010

Kittehs !

I know, I know .... I haven't posted anything here in a gazillion years. Until something more insightful comes to mind, here's a video with cats. That's about it. Yeah.

Mar 27, 2010

The Telescope, the Telescope !

Setting up my scope. Yeah, I accidentally used the wrong aspect ratio when filming so I look like a skinny ass mofo bitch. Also, I realize the music is too freakin' loud. Shit happens. Below the video you have my impressions after the first use :) Enjoy.

So my Celestron (Astromaster 130EQ) is here and I got to take it out for some fun timez. I am a total novice, never worked with a telescope in my life so it was tricky getting used to it ...I actually had to search online info on how to use the mount :/ After I finally got the alignment right, first thing I pointed my scope at was, ofcourse, the moon. Using the 20mm EP it looked splendid, it gave a very sharp image of the craters and what I think it was some of the seas. Then I switched to the 10mm EP and I was amazed how much the image improved. I could even see individual rocks on the Moon's surface.

I turned the scope to Saturn and I was a bit disappointed that I could not see the rings. After a few minutes I managed to see two moons and realized I was actually looking at Jupiter and that's why I couldn't see "the rings", dur dur. I know, imma n00b. Since the sky wasn't perfectly clear (some clouds and a little fog) , the Planets were kinda shaky, especially Mars. Gonna wait for a clear sky night to see the full abilities of this scope when it comes to solar system exploration.

I switched to 20mm EP again and turned it deeper into space. I managed to find the Sigma Orionis and the Orion Nebula and even with this weather I could still distinguish many stars ... the thought that I am actually studying objects 1350 light years away gave me the chills :)

Overall I am still waiting for a night with a clearer sky to full test my scope but so far I am absolutely in love with it. I didn't use the Motor Drive yet because I wanted to move the scope around myself to get accustomed with it ... the motion cables work well and I can move it very smoothly. After I get more used to it I will try some astro-photography. I really don't remember being this excited! ! Thanks again Fred, I am so grateful to you for this wonderful gift <3

Feb 19, 2010


Since I had the accident I haven’t been able to sleep. I did have insomnia before, coming and going at times, but it was never this bad. It got me to a point where I am in a very weird state …almost like drunk. Still, I don’t wanna treat it with pills yet . I have nothing against sleeping pills and the reason why I don’t wanna take them may seem really fucked up … but for some strange reason, my mind seems much clearer now.

I’m writing this now cos I’m gonna get into a subject I’ll never talk about again, no matter how things will roll. In Romania there is a group of nationalists called “Noua Dreapta”. I guess the English equivalent for that would be “The New Right”. Their slogan (as you can read on their official website if you are a Romanian), translates : “The New Right : For God, the People and the Country!”. Basically they claim to protect “Romanian orthodox values” which means that they oppose atheism, homosexuality, gypsies, immigrants, and so on.

A couple months after I started my YouTube channel, they found me and the threats began. Which I didn’t give a shit about, threats don't work on me. They tried to fuck with me on levels that went beyond YouTube flagging/hating/trolling/etc. They tried to “report” me here and there with some things they had no chance in hell to be taken serious for. For instance, they reported me for breaking the constitution, as apparently, “defaming” the country is unconstitutional here. Of course, that only applies in cases of war or political treason and such, so it had “fail” written allover it. They also reported my paypal account which got my access to it restricted. For about 3 days, until I got cleared ;)

So all in all, point is, they see me as the enemy and want my ass fried. So why am I talking about this now ? Because, in a strange twist of events, they will probably end up having my home address. Which, considering what I’ve just said, sounds pretty bad. And it probably is. They could also be having access to personal information about me, which, again, will be unpleasant. I am giving you guys a “heads up” on this, because if (or when) this happens, I won’t be talking about it. Not in videos, not on my blog. I’ll deal with it myself, without involving “ZOMGitsCriss” into it.

There was one person on the internet I was stupid enough to care for and trust with my stuff without thinking once that they might turn out to be the exact opposite of what I though they were. I made a mistake ... one that I’m willing to accept and pay the price for. So, if it will come to it, I’ll take it. I will never do something, or stop myself from doing something, out of fear. I was never nobody’s victim and I’m not about to start now. Shit much worse than this happened (and is happening as I type) to billions of other people, so even taking any of this too seriously is petty and selfish from my part.

Whatever will come, will pass.

This is what I'm doing now ...

Feb 12, 2010

Update and such :/

Hey *dare* ;)

I know it’s been a while since I made a video or updated my blog but some *stuffs* happened and I haven’t been feeling that hot. I’ve been in another car crash, the second one in the last three months. Yeah, what are the odds of that ? This time I was in the bus. It was dark outside and the highway was poorly lighted so the driver didn’t see this woman crossing the road … he avoided her at the last moment but the sudden maneuver caused the bus to roll over on the side. Nobody got badly injured but some of us did end up in the hospital, including me, as I had a big ass piece of glass from the bus window stuck in the back of my head – for two (literally) bloody hours. The nurses weren’t sure if they should remove it or not so I had to wait for the doctor, which wasn’t as painful (I only felt a weird pressure but no actual pain) as it was annoying. God I hate hospitals! Anyway, it was nothing serious, though I needed a couple stitches and had to do a bunch of tests with a bunch of doctors to see if my brain works properly (did it ever?). It turned out that I’m just as crazy as I was before, so they let me go home. A couple days later they removed the stitches and now even the remaining “bump” is gone … but I still have this annoying head ache which prevents me from making videos. It’s not as bad as it was yesterday though …and not nearly as bad as it was 2 days ago, so I should be good soon.

Other than that nothing exciting happened. Starting two weeks ago, two of my favorite people on YouTube – Gary (Inmendham) and AntiBullshitMan - got caught up in this debate about circumcision, causing a fallout between them. Which sucks. Being on ABM’s side got me blocked by Gary, which also sucks. But I guess that's life and such ... meh.

So yeah, now you know what’s up with my lack of “internet activity” : it’s been a really shitty couple of weeks and I been feeling kinda down. But hey … at least I don’t live in Haiti , right ?

To end this blog on a lighter note, today it’s Darwin’s anniversary and I remember with a bit of melancholy reading him when I was a teenager … and the impact he had on my view of the world at that time. So happy Darwin’s day everyone! :)

Also, today is Peach’s birthday and even if she’s not that thrilled about it, I wanna tell her happy birthday . And Peach, I wish for you everything that I would wish for myself. Have a great year darling <33

Jan 10, 2010

What the .....

I really have no excuse for this :/ Since I can't make a YouTube video now, I wanted to do ... something. Oh c'mon ! It's not like you never seen a lady dancing like a crazy hoe on crack and cleaning her room before, eh ?

P.S. : The song is "Hold Tight" by Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich