Apr 30, 2011

My story

I don’t know if it’s such a good idea to talk about this in public. Normally I avoid giving away information that someone might use against me in any kind of way. But at the same time, I’m thinking this may actually help someone who has been sexually assaulted or might find themselves in a similar situation at some point. Also, what happened to me tells an entire story about how corrupt the police department is here. So here it goes.

I was almost 16 and on a second date with this guy who was 18 and going at the same high school with me. It was a couple months before summer break and (in his case) graduation. We were in his car, kissing, when he started pushing things further than I wanted to. At first I thought he was just getting a bit carried away, so I explained to him that I never had sex and that I like him but I don’t know him well enough and I don’t want to lose my virginity like this. We talked about it and he seemed reasonable. He kept trying to kiss me while I was talking, but he wasn’t aggressive, not at this point. 

We talked like that for a while with him trying to convince me, until I started to get pissed off with him insisting so much and I flat out told him I’m not arguing this anymore and I want to go home, now. I was also thinking I don’t want to see him again because he was acting like a jerk, but I didn’t tell him that … I think somewhere in the back of my mind there was this semi-fear lurking around and I didn’t want to get him mad. But he would just not let it go. I couldn’t believe he just kept insisting and going for it even more  when I made it so clear I want to go home. When I started struggling and pushing him away is when everything went to hell. He got aggressive, grabbed me by my hair, started calling me names, trying to immobilize me. 

I think it was just at this point that I realized I am in real danger. It felt so unreal. I remember things almost like they didn’t happen to me but to someone else, but at the same time I remember I was VERY aware of it all… so hard to put this feeling into words. I was perfectly lucid. I knew what he wanted to do. I was desperate to get out of that car. I kept repeating over and over again that I will report him. That if he does this, I’ll put him in jail. I was so lucid I was actually trying to get to his logic, to put him off this. He was telling me something back but for the life of me I don’t remember what it was. I was fighting him with all my strength but I didn’t feel any pain. I know it should have hurt, because the next day I was bruised allover, my arms were practically black from bruises. But at the time I didn’t feel any of that. I just kept pushing him and kicking and hitting him. I wanted out so bad. One of the few things I remember him telling me was that he will cut my face. But to this day I can’t remember if he had a knife or not. I don’t think he did. Or if he had one, he never used it. He only managed to unzip my hoodie and he was trying to get me to hold steady but I kept struggling. I managed to open the door of the car then kept on kicking him until I felt out of it, then I started running. I was sure he was after me and I ran as fast as I could … but he never followed me. I don’t know for how long I ran but considering the distance from the point I was initially, to the point where I stopped after I just couldn’t breathe anymore, it may have been 15 or 20 minutes. I found a cab and went to the police.

Now, I have to repeat that I was not even 16. I had never been through anything like this in my life and I was completely ignorant of the law. The police officer on duty called me in an office where there was this other guy. I told them what happened. I remember how fucking frustrating their questions were. They kept on asking if I was sure “he didn’t just think I was into it to” and I kept explaining that we practically had a god damn fight. I showed them how my hoodie had the zipper torn and they said that “this could happen in a number of ways, even before the incident”. They were asking me if this guy has a girlfriend, how good his grades were (like WTF??!!) and all sort of irrelevant shit that just drove me mad.

Then they went out and a woman came in to examine me. She looked at my bruises (which were not that obvious at this point, they were VERY obvious by the next day though), at the scratch I had on my shoulder and the big bump on the back of my head that at this point really started to hurt. She commented that “oh, it’s not that bad dear, you’re a little tiny thing, he could have really messed you up if he put his mind to it”. When I told her I was fighting back too, she gave me a fake sympathetic smile, as in “yeah, right”. I remember felling pure rage through the entire thing.

Then, the guys came back in, asked me for his full information (I had his name, his phone number, everything), then one of them went out again. I waited for some 20 minutes until he came back, then he told me to go home, and that they will ask him in to question him but I don’t have to be present. They told me I should go home and take a shower and NOT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT THIS AT THIS POINT. I know I may seem like a complete idiot for taking their advice, but I thought it must be a “police thing” and trusted them. I was living with my grandmother at the time and she was sleeping when I got in, I went home, took a shower and went to bed.

The next day I went to school and for a couple hours everything seemed normal. I only told one of my friends what happened. Then I was called into the principal’s office. I went in and there was the school principal, the guy who attacked me, his parents and a police officer. The guy’s mother seemed very empathetic to me and kept apologizing and holding my hand in hers. The guy’s father was saying he is appalled by his son’s behavior. The officer asked me if I want a parent present there, or if I’m ok with the school principal being there as an adult in charge of me. I only had my grandma and wasn’t about to call her, so I said I accept that. 

The police guy asked me if I want to press charges and I said I do. Then he told me to give this some more thought. He told me I will destroy the life of a young man with no criminal record, who didn’t really hurt me, who just made this one mistake and is truly sorry for it, and who’s about to graduate and go to college and I will destroy his entire future with this. I didn’t give a shit about that.

Then he told me that if I do press charges, I will have to appear at hearings, that this will take months and months, that it may get in the press and maybe even on TV, and if I really want to “put myself through that”. I was thinking about this, about all my class mates and the entire high school and my mom who was not even in the country and everyone knowing about this, and how mortifying it would be if people would really read about me in the paper. While I was thinking, the guy’s mother asked him to apologize to me, which he did. She said he learned his lesson, they they are punishing him for what he did and that I have no reason to be afraid of him. I wasn’t afraid of him. I absolutely HATED him. I never felt this kind of hatred in my life, I literally wanted to see him run over by a truck, preferably with me behind the wheel. I said that I’m not going to sit by and let him get away with this. The principal said he wouldn’t. That he will be expelled on bad behavior, he won’t be allowed to take his exams, which meant that he won’t be able to apply to college. I realize what a bad decision I made, but I accepted this. I was satisfied that he will get *some* punishment without me doing anything and without anyone finding out about what happened and me having to go through that “shame”. I was also pleased to see he was heavily bruised (by me) as well. I was so stupid. 

Just a couple years later when I started to have some thought of my own, I realized how wrong all of this was. That what they did was probably illegal. The police officer never even told me his name. I don’t even know if that guy was really expelled, maybe he just got transferred to another highschool and graduated anyway. I kept on wondering if he did that to anyone else. If he did, I would have part of that responsibility … I just hope that having to deal with the police may have put him off trying this again. But it’s just a hope.

I know that for many other people who’ve been sexually assaulted my story doesn’t seem that bad. And I can only imagine what a victim of rape must go through. Because for me, what happened affected me for years. I never went on a date after that. Both my ex boyfriend and my now husband have been friends with me for many years before we hooked up. I never went through the whole “meeting a new guy, going on a date” kind of thing that most teenagers do. I had to really trust someone to get close to them. And to this day, I dread running. All my friends, including people here on the internet, know that I don’t run. In highschool I got myself a fake medical notice that said I am exempt from doing sports. Now I joke about this often, saying how I rather sit there and wait for the criminal to get me rather than run away from him, “cos I’m just lazy like that”. But the truth is, every time I run it’s like I get thrown back in time and find myself running from him until I can’t breathe anymore. I know this sounds very weird…and not at all a big issue. But it’s little things like this that will stay with me forever, making me wonder if things were worse, how much would that have affected and changed me. Like I said, I can’t even imagine it.

I don’t want to read this post so please excuse the typos.  

66 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fahd here, before I begin to read this...let me just say that I admire your courage and your will to stand up and fight for a very good cause. God bless you and help us all. :)

Stan in NH said...

I totally understand your reasons, and you shouldn't beat yourself up because you were convinced that not pressing charges would be to your benefit. In our male dominated world, that's how it all unfolds to keep women in their place and men able to push just a little further. The good that came out of it was that you are a stronger person, who can channel the anger from being misused as a child into benefits for our society. Your story helps women and girls today, not be oppressed by those who are supposed to protect and defend your rights, not the rights of your attackers.
Unfortunately, things change slowly, and not at all sometimes. But every bit helps.
Thanks for sharing this story. There are millions like it, I am sure. and that's really the saddest part.

Mach said...

Oh, I am so, so sorry. But maybe reading this will help someone that's been through something similar.

Bryan said...

Wow I'm very sorry you had to go through something like that...
I can't imagine how hard that was, but I'm really glad you pulled through! *hugs*
I wouldn't be surprised if he tried that on another person, and actually got life in prison!

Yanquetino said...

Criss, I stand in awe of your courage in telling this tale. You are a very brave woman to reopen those wounds, let alone share them. I hope that it will help others who have been, or may be, subjected to sexual assault. It adds insult to injury --literally-- that you were then politically, socially, and emotionally assaulted by those to whom you turned for help. What a nasty species we are.

Fahd Omar said...

Fahd again, It is by no means a "small story" and I am proud of you and appreciate your strong character for sharing this with everyone. It will help whoever reads and follows your advices you mentioned.

I hate these God damn rapist and sexual predators...and the people (authorities etc) who help them and do not help the victims...."To Hell With Them!"

God Bless you and guide everyone to safety always.

thefirstmorning said...

I have followed your videos for several years now, and you have built, through your creativity and intelligence, an enormous amount of credibility with me and, I know, many thousands of others. Thus, I believe this may be the important piece you have done.
You have given community and understanding to other women and girls who have similar horrible situations. And you have enlightened many men with new knowledge of the real wounds they are capable of inflicting, through their acts of aggression and their lack of empathy.
We must all do what we can to help others heal. I think you have done much through this act of writing in courage and vulnerability.
Thank you.

Trillian said...

I think your courage to post this is a beautiful thing. The running thing seems like a remaining post traumatic signal that just sets you off into re-living the experience, but alot of people who have had near rape experiences (including myself) suffer from some of these remnants for many years later, but I found therapy helped. Thats my two cents anyway. Again, I'm so sorry, but I think your courage and past humor about the running thing mark some pretty healthy steps toward conquering the trauma. Also, you're awesome <3

paulstar said...

Very sorry you went through this Cristina

ElThoro said...

I always feel shame to be a male when I read something like this, and mad at my own sex. Its sad that this was part of your experience.

Hecton P.Domingos said...

Some scars stay inside us forever, but in the same time make us more strong, mainly with your creativity and intelligence.

Have a great life.

Hecton Domingos, from Brazil.

Anonymous said...

Your courage in posting has my admiration. I experienced rape a year ago, at 16. Something that really comforted me upon my release from the subsequent psychiatric hospital was reading the experiences of others' conscious salvation of their own lives. That and devouring lots of Carl Sagan and James Randi and whatnot - I think a rational worldview is so important in aiding recovery from the kind of delusions and emotions that can plague you afterwards.

So thanks for posting.

Anonymous said...

That must've been horrible. I undertand how you feel about running cause I also feel the same. One evening, while I was going to meet a friend, 2 random guys tried to force me to get into their car... I struggled a lot and I was somehow able to run and I didn't look back, not even once... was too afraid... I don't know who they were and I didn't get to see their number plate cause it was kinda dark... I hate running so much, that's why I also got a fake medical notice in highschool. If anyone asks me why I hate runnung I tell them I have breathing problems. That's not really a lie because ever since that happened whenever I'm in a stressful situation or I remember about that, suddenly the anxiety kicks in and I can't breathe properly. If this traumatized me so much I can't even imagine how other people who were actually raped feel like... O zi bună! Ai grijă de tine!

madman fred said...

I will say what everyone else does that you're brave for writing this. I'm sorry for the pain you're going through, and I hope someday you may be clear of the trauma.

Every guy should be taught prior to high school not just "no means know," but also taught that if they don't heed that rule, the girl will be traumatized and will hate him forever.

I have to add that they were right to warn you that pressing charges would be an ordeal. I don't know about your country, but in mine (USA), date rape cases are notoriously difficult to prosecute. Even more so when they look at physical evidence and find only a torn jacket and barely visible bruises. Yes, they should have looked the next day after the inflammation kicked in. They should have known that. It was likely not they didn't believe you, but they have to figure out how to turn this over to a prosecutor, who in turn, has to find a jury he could convince. In the USA, they'd have to convince the jury unanimously.

Even in a case where rape was completed, where they have medical evidence, but still have no witnesses, that means they have evidence for sex: a legal act. It comes down to his word against hers over whether it was consensual. If all they have besides are light bruises, this means the case will come down to his word against hers. The legal principle that all jurors use deciding in our country is "guilt beyond a reasonable doubt." The jurors are instructed to vote guilty only if they're certain. So, any uncertainty the defense can bring into one jurors mind will blow the conviction.

The same obstacles probably aren't there, but I'm thinking it's just difficult, or more so, in Romania. That leaves out might have also gone on while you were pressing charges, and that's harassment by this guy's buddies and their buddies, because that would have happened. I don't know if there's any way they could feel you were prepared for it. I'm actually surprised to hear they expelled the guy, he apparently admitted it, and they asked for mercy. I thought he would be far less contrite.

I used to be on a Grand Jury. Fridays were always hard. That day was for the sex-crime cases. For the female officer, she had seen plenty of women after sexual assault who had far worse injuries than yours. I'm not minimizing it. What you saw in her eyes was probably a mixture of relief along with the question of "how can we prosecute this?" The fact that he grappled rather than beat you tells me that he had doubts over his actions. I'm inferring motives, not forgiving him. This just means that you were less unfortunate than many sexually assaulted women. It could have been so much worse.

Anonymous said...

I've been through sexual assault (it actually got to a bad point) and I admire you, I didn't even know who the guys were so I couldn't report it, but thanks for posting this, seriously, it made me feel a little bit better knowing I'm not alone.

Rae Bunneh said...

Thank you for sharing your story.

Mark Saunders said...

You did the right thing with this posting, Cristina ; now you can finally put it all behind you! We all love you,Kiddo!!!

Anonymous said...

I've been to a few colleges and known several different women who have been sexually assaulted, and they tell similar stories about trying to prosecute. The cops think they're doing you a favor by asking the tough questions you'd be asked at a trial, to save you from being the girl who "thought she was raped" or "lied about being raped". Really, they're part of the cover-up, as they try to talk you out of pressing charges.

The school I teach for now is the same place I studied at as an undergraduate. It's well known for its Feminist Studies program and for being pro-equality and anti-violence and all that great stuff. Doesn't matter. The people running the place don't want a scandal, period. Women who reported assaults were encouraged to shut up about it, to accept in-house punishments for the perpetrator instead of "official" action - anything to protect the school's image as a safe, nurturing environment. Again, they mean well, but it's fucking criminal all the same.

Anonymous said...

In a weird way we all deserve the experiences we are given...When we act accordingly to what is right and true, (and not to what the bullies and control freaks want) can we be redeemed.

Lucian Vâlsan said...

Well, first of all you should have pressed charges but you had no evidence.
In any sane country, the arguments given by the police were correct. Your zipper could have twisted on different occasions and those bruses could occure somewhere else.
Basicly, it was your word against his word. What would you prefer the justice to do? Trust you by default like in the USA?!

Let's remember that in the USA, where women are trusted by default, there have been at least 10000 (yes, ten thousand) cases where men went to jail absolutely innocent out of pure female vengence! Is that fair?

You should have gone through a medical exam and get a certificate and press charges.

Anyway, the police men had their reasons not to trust you because there have been soooo many mistakes. Recently there has been a case in USA where a man has been released from jail after 35 years of inprisonment for rape. He was convincted exclusively by eye witness from the victim. Now, the DNA exonerated him.
It happened in Romania too, just look for Marcel Tundrea's case.

Romania's judiciary system ruined a lot of lives for nothing or for crimes not so bad. Just look here: http://romanian-society.blogspot.com/2011/04/3-lives-ruined-no-one-guilty.html .

Anyway, it is indeed a great prof of courage from you to post this.

P.S.: Should I have pressed charges on my relatives who forced me (in a fizical way, included) to worship the Orthodox God?! I think I'd rather been beaten a few times but to be left to think for myself.

thefirstmorning said...

To Anonymous (above):

Bullshit

Diego, el Mapache said...

Guys like the one in your story give a bad name to all guys. Seriously, he deserved to be run over by a manure truck. I’m sorry that this happened to you, and actually, to many women around the world (my best friend has just told me some weeks ago that a guy tried to force her to kiss him when she was 17). I’m glad that nothing more happened to you and you had the will and strength to fight back and protect you, hopefully more girls would behave like this. Thanks for sharing, for letting us know more about you and for facing all this and inspiring other girls to do the same as you do.

Also, for a girl who doesn’t run, you have a pretty nice figure.

Rabid said...

To Anonymous:
Telling, how you didn't want to put your name to that comment. Do us all a favour and go suck on a tail pipe you cancerous fuckwit.

DataJack said...

Criss - I am so very sorry that this happened to you. I know it took a great deal of courage to post about it, too.

Robert said...

Thanks for sharing. More people need to have your courage. It helps people to know that they are not alone.

Larry K said...

Don't know if it helped you at all to write this. Am certain it will help others to read it.

Anonymous said...

this proves you do not know a first thing about the law. it doesn't deal with emotions or word against the word. its one thing bad shit happens, its another thing you add to ur burden by your own ignorance.

if you really cared, you would know.

not cry for sympathy.

Jessica said...

When I was 14, I was raped by a crazy person, who, as they were fucking me started tell me how they were the devil and how it was their task to lead people to sin and then to punish them. I was so frightened, I could not even fight back, it was like it was happening to someone else. I was rescued by my sister who called the rapist to the phone, and their aunt had them committed a mental hospital. And somehow this was less horrible because they were really crazy: having a nervous breakdown. It wasn't about me or because of me or something I did. It would have been much worse if I had had to fight to escape. I also was not hurt physically. My rapist committed suicide a few years later. I was sorry for them. They were far more tortured than me.

Adelaide said...

I'm not sure what exactly it is about human logic that implies that we feel stronger when we don't share our stories, but the reality is that the traumas of our lives break us down when there's no way to express them so as to seek empathy from other people. I also don't understand why there's always this desire in people to stratify trauma; to make one person's suffering worse or not as bad as someone else's. Regardless of the opinions surrounding your story, what you've done in telling it to all of us is brave, relatable (sadly), and helpful. Thank you, Criss.

greg said...

Thank You, Criss. All of us are more human because of the things you share on your posts and videos.

TheKenna said...

I know exactly how you feel.
*hugs*

C.J. said...

To the "anonymous" coward who's trying to explain how the law works:

you obviously don't know how a victim's mind works, then. After such a traumatizing assault, you become very desperate, you don't think straight, you think emotionally instead of rationally, etc. And on top of everything, YOU'RE SCARED SHITLESS. So even though it's easy to criticize her for not taking it to court and all of that, consider how confused and senseless she must have felt in the moment.

And I'm not trying to insult you by saying that, Cristina. That was just my own personal experience with sexual assault. And I know that's how it works for many other victims as well.

Anon, not everything is as easy as it would seem. Don't judge when you haven't been there yourself.

Anonymous said...

To C.J.

Yes I have been there myself, and what happened was far worse than what she described. In a war country, at that. So fall back.

You clearly think with your emotions as well, so there is no need to rationalize with you or her.

Point is, one does lot more damage being ignorant of the law. All those excuses are just that, excuses.

And if she wanted to truly help someone she would guide em . Not hijack shit that didn't even happen.

Be seriousl

Anonymous said...

cont...


If you knew how many crazy women go to the police claiming false rape or assault reports u would fkn understand they need EVIDENCE and u being little blond with rippt hoodie aint gon cut it.
Maniac women do this all the time and have wrong men in prison

She doesnt fkn understand the law , same way she doesnt understand many other thing.

it is a direct insult to us who HAVE been thru ACTUAL shit so spare me the fkn cyber hugs n tears, ignorant cunts

1471phillip said...

Yeah, that sucks... Having to run probably does suck... I know when ever people mention breathing tubes I think about how my mom passed away but maybe as a little girl you should have took a day or two to think and maybe even discuss with your grandparents because then maybe you would have been able to think of a punishment for that guy that you would have been more comfortable with rather then now you have regrets but at the same time maybe no matter the outcome you'd have regrets. Just like my mother passing away, the scenarios in my head constantly make me wonder. But then again maybe there's a bigger difference between you and me because what happened to you was a crime and with me was maybe just life. idk just my two cents...

Chris said...

Thanks for sharing.

Lou said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Janou Houba said...

I understand you have a problem remembering details of the event and you avoid situations that remind you of the event. These are symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (ptsd). I'm not saying you have it but there might be a chance.
I have it myself. I got extremely bullied when I was a kid and now the memory of my youth is a black hole and when I find myself in a situation that reminds me of being bullied I start shaking.
If I were you I'd contact a therapist. I don't know how therapy works in Romania, maybe they're corrupt too I don't know.. But I'd give it a shot. It might help.

Anonymous said...

To the annonymous nob who keeps bleating on about 'the law'. Don't you think that talking to an underage girl without any legal representitive or guardian present, and then telling her to GO HOME AND SHOWER is even a little bit negligent of the police?! Allowing parents to deal with their naughty little would-be rapist sons isn't how the law should work. Evidence of her bruising and samples from under her nails should have been taken, and the little prick should have been called in for official questioning. At the very least he would have to explain why they were both bruised to shit. I agree it would be hard to get an attempted rape charge to stick, but at least attempting to question him may have led to a confession, and not made Cris feel so alone and judged. The police judged her incorrectly, and for a profession where extremely stupid people frequently end up, that kind of judgement call should never be left down to them. It is their job to carefully and thoroughly collect all evidence and take statements. We have courts to decide a person's innocence or guilt, not a bunch of retards in uniform.

Adi said...

Were you an atheist by that time already or has this experience determined you to become one?

Anonymous said...

Your a tough cookie Criss and its good to see that this horrible event hasnt ruined you as a person.
Thank you for sharing this.

Stephanie said...

I just like to add that your blog doesn't suck and I love reading it. You became resilient, strong and a intelligent person, and I truly admire you as one. Thanks for sharing

Anonymous said...

There are so many sceptics in this world, and especially there are sceptics concerning sexual assault and rape. The fact is that it can occur on a very "low key" scale, such as here. And people forget that. Even what are considered small incidents have big effects.

Drizzle said...

I'm glad you posted this. I think it's important for young girls (like me) to think about the possibility of these things so we can make a game plan of what to do when it happens. Your post definitely makes me think about what I would do if something happened to me.

Anonymous said...

Anon #9 (?) is correct. DNA tests have been available since the early 90's, so unless he had the presence of mind to wash his hands really thoroughly, bits of her skin would have been under his nails - evidence of a struggle. Sticking sexual assault on it may have been hard without a witness, but assault should probably have been possible.

Cristina Rad said...

Regarding some of your comments.

1. When I criticized how the police reacted, I was talking about the fact that they didn't send me to get a proper medical exam and get a certificate for it, they didn't collect any evidence, they didn't try to inform my family (I was underaged, hello ?), they even told me specifically not to talk to anyone, and they talked me out of pressing charges against him. Yeah, I see a problem with that.

2. No, this had absolutely nothing to do with my Atheism.

3. Thanks for all your kind messages, to those of you who left them <3

Adi said...

Are you positively sure about that? I can imagine that youth dramatic experiences influence people in many ways. And especially with regard to atheism, it can be determined in both conscious and unconscious ways!

Anonymous said...

I am so happy that you got away. But it still makes me so sad to hear about this. The part about the police is shocking to me and making me really angry.. Than you for this post. It is very brave of you to post this were anyone can read it. Sorry for my bad grammar and english.. I don't really speak it that good. Kisses!

TheAzov said...

An ugly episode; but the ironic thing about such incidents s that (provided they don't go all the way into outright tragedy) they can have a reverse effect, make us better and wiser for having experienced them. And I don't believe it's paralyzed you as much as you think: you've been outrunning most everyone on the Tube for years now. :D

Anonymous said...

I am sorry for you and every other person who is ever put in a situation they do not wish to be in. The world can be a sick place that is why it is so wonderful to be with other persons/groups that encourage and help make us just happier.

Seilen said...

Thank you for being the beautiful person that you are. I hope that I'll get a chance to meet you and have a delightful conversation with you at least one day in this life.

:)

Anonymous said...

I just want to say that you're a really brave person. Keep fighting and look forward to the future. =)

Rein said...

May 1, 2011 1:52 PM Anonymous said...

jsut because she did not go trough as much shit you went trough. doesn`t make her story un important. lets set an example. the war in Srebrenitsa was in fact important. just lik WW2 whilst in WW2 far more people died. and frankly if you think that only you had it really bad and Criss didn't (or others like Criss) is so insulting and degrading that you too should be run over by a truck. go fuck off.

Anonymous said...

If you do not know the name of the guy you hated so much and much, can you tell us the name of the school you were attending and the name of the principal at that time?

Anonymous said...

I know I am late with this but I just wanted to say that this post made me hard as a rock

Its sort of sexy in a weird way especially since he still controls your life with the whole running thing

He was a kid and he made a mistake. His whole life doesn't need to be ruined by it.

Its not like he was some sort of sexual predator waiting at the park for girls.

You also made a mistake going with him at 15 years old. You knew what "boys and girls do"

Everyone knows Romanian girls are easy. This is what he was expecting and he got frustrated.

Its not an excuse.

You also are not such an innocent girl. You have no problem talking about porn and cocks on your blog.

Anyway, your mother is a whore and she abandoned you when she left to another country. Its not surprising that you turned out this way.

BTW, you look more Moldovan than Romanian, or a mix of some such.

PS: You have this fucked up life and try to pass on your habits like drug use and religious beliefs to others. (right or wrong)

Just because you are depressed doesn't mean the rest need to see the same way.

Anonymous said...

God bless you!

You did a good thing to spew those awful moments out. I hope you feel better now.

And just ignore the bastards who says bad things about you.

Your wellwisher

Pete said...

It takes guts to post this type of honesty. The power of social media is found in the sharing of differing or common experience. Sharing your experience is undoubtedly difficult for you but it enriches the colletive content of the web in general. I hope that getting the memories of the moment off your conscience acts is some type of theraputic manner. All I can offer is that your story, your honesty, will someday come across the screen of another person who is dealing with violence in their life. Try to find solice in the fact that your story could act as a helping hand for another who has encountered a similar trama.

Best,
Pete

Luke McC said...

This is addressed to the anonymous guy making completely uneducated assumptions of Cristina.

Fuck off. Betch.

That is all :D

Regarding miss Rad, It must have taken a tremendous amount of self acceptance to post this, I mean, think about it, Cristina has built her self up to be this well endowed rational goddess of sorts, and this blog post took me by surprise.

I admire your courage, and the fact you have still bloomed into such an amazing and rational being makes you so much more of a role model.

PS: I'm 15.

byronand said...

Thank you for posting this Cris. You are amazing! Much love to you.

Anonymous said...

You are an evil woman.

Anonymous said...

No woman can be hurt by sex. If they can their pathetic and too weak to live.

Anonymous said...

You destroyed my life. You owe me reparations BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL1nDdWBfcc

Troy said...

I am really sorry to hear about this criss.

To these last few Anonymous commenters those comments are ridiculous.

How can any of you have something negative to say to this girl. You people make me sick.

Anonymous said...

This took real courage to share. I commend you on that. I am sorry to hear what happened, but glad that you were strong and fought this bastard off and did not let it go any further than it did. This type of creature is pure scum and it is sad that such hideous actions must remain with you. Love and respect to you.

Anonymous said...

P.S. I was molested as a small child and still carry this with me and know well how long these things can linger. I hope you are able to be fully free from this some day.

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