Insomnia

Since I had the accident I haven’t been able to sleep. I did have insomnia before, coming and going at times, but it was never this bad. It got me to a point where I am in a very weird state …almost like drunk. Still, I don’t wanna treat it with pills yet . I have nothing against sleeping pills and the reason why I don’t wanna take them may seem really fucked up … but for some strange reason, my mind seems much clearer now.

I’m writing this now cos I’m gonna get into a subject I’ll never talk about again, no matter how things will roll. In Romania there is a group of nationalists called “Noua Dreapta”. I guess the English equivalent for that would be “The New Right”. Their slogan (as you can read on their official website if you are a Romanian), translates : “The New Right : For God, the People and the Country!”. Basically they claim to protect “Romanian orthodox values” which means that they oppose atheism, homosexuality, gypsies, immigrants, and so on.

A couple months after I started my YouTube channel, they found me and the threats began. Which I didn’t give a shit about, threats don't work on me. They tried to fuck with me on levels that went beyond YouTube flagging/hating/trolling/etc. They tried to “report” me here and there with some things they had no chance in hell to be taken serious for. For instance, they reported me for breaking the constitution, as apparently, “defaming” the country is unconstitutional here. Of course, that only applies in cases of war or political treason and such, so it had “fail” written allover it. They also reported my paypal account which got my access to it restricted. For about 3 days, until I got cleared ;)

So all in all, point is, they see me as the enemy and want my ass fried. So why am I talking about this now ? Because, in a strange twist of events, they will probably end up having my home address. Which, considering what I’ve just said, sounds pretty bad. And it probably is. They could also be having access to personal information about me, which, again, will be unpleasant. I am giving you guys a “heads up” on this, because if (or when) this happens, I won’t be talking about it. Not in videos, not on my blog. I’ll deal with it myself, without involving “ZOMGitsCriss” into it.

There was one person on the internet I was stupid enough to care for and trust with my stuff without thinking once that they might turn out to be the exact opposite of what I though they were. I made a mistake ... one that I’m willing to accept and pay the price for. So, if it will come to it, I’ll take it. I will never do something, or stop myself from doing something, out of fear. I was never nobody’s victim and I’m not about to start now. Shit much worse than this happened (and is happening as I type) to billions of other people, so even taking any of this too seriously is petty and selfish from my part.

Whatever will come, will pass.

This is what I'm doing now ...

Update and such :/

Hey *dare* ;)

I know it’s been a while since I made a video or updated my blog but some *stuffs* happened and I haven’t been feeling that hot. I’ve been in another car crash, the second one in the last three months. Yeah, what are the odds of that ? This time I was in the bus. It was dark outside and the highway was poorly lighted so the driver didn’t see this woman crossing the road … he avoided her at the last moment but the sudden maneuver caused the bus to roll over on the side. Nobody got badly injured but some of us did end up in the hospital, including me, as I had a big ass piece of glass from the bus window stuck in the back of my head – for two (literally) bloody hours. The nurses weren’t sure if they should remove it or not so I had to wait for the doctor, which wasn’t as painful (I only felt a weird pressure but no actual pain) as it was annoying. God I hate hospitals! Anyway, it was nothing serious, though I needed a couple stitches and had to do a bunch of tests with a bunch of doctors to see if my brain works properly (did it ever?). It turned out that I’m just as crazy as I was before, so they let me go home. A couple days later they removed the stitches and now even the remaining “bump” is gone … but I still have this annoying head ache which prevents me from making videos. It’s not as bad as it was yesterday though …and not nearly as bad as it was 2 days ago, so I should be good soon.

Other than that nothing exciting happened. Starting two weeks ago, two of my favorite people on YouTube – Gary (Inmendham) and AntiBullshitMan - got caught up in this debate about circumcision, causing a fallout between them. Which sucks. Being on ABM’s side got me blocked by Gary, which also sucks. But I guess that's life and such ... meh.

So yeah, now you know what’s up with my lack of “internet activity” : it’s been a really shitty couple of weeks and I been feeling kinda down. But hey … at least I don’t live in Haiti , right ?

To end this blog on a lighter note, today it’s Darwin’s anniversary and I remember with a bit of melancholy reading him when I was a teenager … and the impact he had on my view of the world at that time. So happy Darwin’s day everyone! :)

Also, today is Peach’s birthday and even if she’s not that thrilled about it, I wanna tell her happy birthday . And Peach, I wish for you everything that I would wish for myself. Have a great year darling <33