Kittehs !

I know, I know .... I haven't posted anything here in a gazillion years. Until something more insightful comes to mind, here's a video with cats. That's about it. Yeah.

The Telescope, the Telescope !

Setting up my scope. Yeah, I accidentally used the wrong aspect ratio when filming so I look like a skinny ass mofo bitch. Also, I realize the music is too freakin' loud. Shit happens. Below the video you have my impressions after the first use :) Enjoy.



So my Celestron (Astromaster 130EQ) is here and I got to take it out for some fun timez. I am a total novice, never worked with a telescope in my life so it was tricky getting used to it ...I actually had to search online info on how to use the mount :/ After I finally got the alignment right, first thing I pointed my scope at was, ofcourse, the moon. Using the 20mm EP it looked splendid, it gave a very sharp image of the craters and what I think it was some of the seas. Then I switched to the 10mm EP and I was amazed how much the image improved. I could even see individual rocks on the Moon's surface.

I turned the scope to Saturn and I was a bit disappointed that I could not see the rings. After a few minutes I managed to see two moons and realized I was actually looking at Jupiter and that's why I couldn't see "the rings", dur dur. I know, imma n00b. Since the sky wasn't perfectly clear (some clouds and a little fog) , the Planets were kinda shaky, especially Mars. Gonna wait for a clear sky night to see the full abilities of this scope when it comes to solar system exploration.

I switched to 20mm EP again and turned it deeper into space. I managed to find the Sigma Orionis and the Orion Nebula and even with this weather I could still distinguish many stars ... the thought that I am actually studying objects 1350 light years away gave me the chills :)

Overall I am still waiting for a night with a clearer sky to full test my scope but so far I am absolutely in love with it. I didn't use the Motor Drive yet because I wanted to move the scope around myself to get accustomed with it ... the motion cables work well and I can move it very smoothly. After I get more used to it I will try some astro-photography. I really don't remember being this excited! ! Thanks again Fred, I am so grateful to you for this wonderful gift <3

Insomnia

Since I had the accident I haven’t been able to sleep. I did have insomnia before, coming and going at times, but it was never this bad. It got me to a point where I am in a very weird state …almost like drunk. Still, I don’t wanna treat it with pills yet . I have nothing against sleeping pills and the reason why I don’t wanna take them may seem really fucked up … but for some strange reason, my mind seems much clearer now.

I’m writing this now cos I’m gonna get into a subject I’ll never talk about again, no matter how things will roll. In Romania there is a group of nationalists called “Noua Dreapta”. I guess the English equivalent for that would be “The New Right”. Their slogan (as you can read on their official website if you are a Romanian), translates : “The New Right : For God, the People and the Country!”. Basically they claim to protect “Romanian orthodox values” which means that they oppose atheism, homosexuality, gypsies, immigrants, and so on.

A couple months after I started my YouTube channel, they found me and the threats began. Which I didn’t give a shit about, threats don't work on me. They tried to fuck with me on levels that went beyond YouTube flagging/hating/trolling/etc. They tried to “report” me here and there with some things they had no chance in hell to be taken serious for. For instance, they reported me for breaking the constitution, as apparently, “defaming” the country is unconstitutional here. Of course, that only applies in cases of war or political treason and such, so it had “fail” written allover it. They also reported my paypal account which got my access to it restricted. For about 3 days, until I got cleared ;)

So all in all, point is, they see me as the enemy and want my ass fried. So why am I talking about this now ? Because, in a strange twist of events, they will probably end up having my home address. Which, considering what I’ve just said, sounds pretty bad. And it probably is. They could also be having access to personal information about me, which, again, will be unpleasant. I am giving you guys a “heads up” on this, because if (or when) this happens, I won’t be talking about it. Not in videos, not on my blog. I’ll deal with it myself, without involving “ZOMGitsCriss” into it.

There was one person on the internet I was stupid enough to care for and trust with my stuff without thinking once that they might turn out to be the exact opposite of what I though they were. I made a mistake ... one that I’m willing to accept and pay the price for. So, if it will come to it, I’ll take it. I will never do something, or stop myself from doing something, out of fear. I was never nobody’s victim and I’m not about to start now. Shit much worse than this happened (and is happening as I type) to billions of other people, so even taking any of this too seriously is petty and selfish from my part.

Whatever will come, will pass.

This is what I'm doing now ...

Update and such :/

Hey *dare* ;)

I know it’s been a while since I made a video or updated my blog but some *stuffs* happened and I haven’t been feeling that hot. I’ve been in another car crash, the second one in the last three months. Yeah, what are the odds of that ? This time I was in the bus. It was dark outside and the highway was poorly lighted so the driver didn’t see this woman crossing the road … he avoided her at the last moment but the sudden maneuver caused the bus to roll over on the side. Nobody got badly injured but some of us did end up in the hospital, including me, as I had a big ass piece of glass from the bus window stuck in the back of my head – for two (literally) bloody hours. The nurses weren’t sure if they should remove it or not so I had to wait for the doctor, which wasn’t as painful (I only felt a weird pressure but no actual pain) as it was annoying. God I hate hospitals! Anyway, it was nothing serious, though I needed a couple stitches and had to do a bunch of tests with a bunch of doctors to see if my brain works properly (did it ever?). It turned out that I’m just as crazy as I was before, so they let me go home. A couple days later they removed the stitches and now even the remaining “bump” is gone … but I still have this annoying head ache which prevents me from making videos. It’s not as bad as it was yesterday though …and not nearly as bad as it was 2 days ago, so I should be good soon.

Other than that nothing exciting happened. Starting two weeks ago, two of my favorite people on YouTube – Gary (Inmendham) and AntiBullshitMan - got caught up in this debate about circumcision, causing a fallout between them. Which sucks. Being on ABM’s side got me blocked by Gary, which also sucks. But I guess that's life and such ... meh.

So yeah, now you know what’s up with my lack of “internet activity” : it’s been a really shitty couple of weeks and I been feeling kinda down. But hey … at least I don’t live in Haiti , right ?

To end this blog on a lighter note, today it’s Darwin’s anniversary and I remember with a bit of melancholy reading him when I was a teenager … and the impact he had on my view of the world at that time. So happy Darwin’s day everyone! :)

Also, today is Peach’s birthday and even if she’s not that thrilled about it, I wanna tell her happy birthday . And Peach, I wish for you everything that I would wish for myself. Have a great year darling <33

What the .....

I really have no excuse for this :/ Since I can't make a YouTube video now, I wanted to do ... something. Oh c'mon ! It's not like you never seen a lady dancing like a crazy hoe on crack and cleaning her room before, eh ?

P.S. : The song is "Hold Tight" by Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich 

Green for Iran ?

So there is this “green revolution” going on on youtube meaning that if you support the people in Iran you should turn your channel icon in green. And I've been getting messages about it , asking me if I’m gonna do it and if I support the people in Iran (which, ofcourse, I do) and what do I think about all this and a few were asking what is the green movement about. So I just wanted to talk about it a bit because you may be used to me having very strong opinions on things and with this I honestly just don’t know.

So this is what’s going on … earlier this year in June the Iranian people voted on their presidential elections. And the battle was between the last president Ahmadinejad who basically rules a dictatorship-like regime in Iran … Iran is now a theocratic Islamic republic, meaning that God , or in this case Allah, is considered to be the supreme ruler and the Government operates on Islamic based principles .





The second candidate for presidency was Mousavi who is a reformist and apparently the majority of Iranians who want to change the current theocracy into a democracy supported him.





When Ahmadinejad won the elections, the result surprised everybody and it was concluded that the election were a fraud so the Iranians took the streets into a huge protest militating in support of Mousavi and democracy. But the law enforcements acted very aggressively and a lot of people were shot to death or beaten up or arrested. And this reminded me so much of the Revolution that took place in my own country back in 89. Anyway this is what the green movement is about … green was Mousavi’s color for presidential campaign but it turned into a symbol of the fight for freedom and democracy and protest against the fraudulent elections. So of course I support Iran in this and as a humanist I strongly oppose the theocratic regime there.

BUT … there are also other things to consider. For instance, while Ahmadinejad always spoke very strongly against the United States, Mousavi declared that his foreign policy plan will focus on reducing tensions with other nations. This includes negotiating U.S. Which is not a bad thing but my main concern is that the sudden support shown for the green revolution may be not what it seems and that US may be more interested in Iran’s nuclear weapons and oil and having another "pet government" there ... and less in the Iranian people . I mean, if you look at what happened in Afghanistan and Iraq , the people there were also promised freedom and in turned into a total different thing.

So this is what my concern is … I’m just afraid the this fight for freedom, which I’m certain is very genuine and our support for it, which is also genuine, might be misused.

Anyway, like I said, I am not sure about this, I just don’t know ... so please share your ideas with me because I'm interested in what you're thinking, as for me the situation is far from clear. And again, I do support the Iranian people, democracy and freedom. Always.

I like the Christmas tree (and so does my cat)

The Christmas tree has always been my favorite part of Christmas, even more so then the presents. I was the one decorating the tree year after year ever since I could do it myself.

It may seem strange that I still wanna have a tree even though I will be by myself in the house with no kids around (except for some guests that are just about to arrive for a short visit) but for some reason decorating the tree always brings me much joy.

I also liked presents when I was a kid because having very little money my mom always made me presents herself and I cherish them to this day. However, now days Christmas seems to be more about consumerism and no one ever gives hand-made presents anymore. And why does it have to be Christmas to be generous anyway ? I have a lot more things to complain about related to this Holiday but hell with it, I don’t wanna ruin your merry-ness :)

So here is a “decorating the tree” video and don’t bitch about what I’m wearing. I’m feeling festive y’all ;) I wish I could have featured my cat cos she came in right after I finished recording and was very pleased with it. Btw it’s an ecological tree that I’ve had for several years.

Bitchy, depressed blog

Have you ever had one of those mornings when you wake up so depressed you just go “arghhhhh please no, not another day!” ? Yeah, today is one of them. Yesterday I realized I will no longer have a person in my life, someone I care about deeply. Isn’t it strange how attached we get to so many things even if we know …well, at least if we think about it, that at some point it will, with no doubt, end.

And I am talking about ALL the things that we become attached to, whether it’s something you like to do that at some point you won't be able to do it anymore, or if it's a pet that you know it’s gonna die ….or a person, because that’s gonna end too. They will in the worse case die, or just leave you or simply turn out to be different from who you thought they were or who they seemed to be. Either way it will reach an end and you will get hurt. By the time we are 80 (if we ever reach that age) we have been heartbroken and crushed so many times we are just damaged shells of what we used to be and can’t even recognize ourselves in our young times memories.

And yet, we have to bond and care … it’s just nature’s way to keep us going. Our desire to live / will to survive is obviously stronger when we are attached like this. However, I do consciously try to avoid it and most of the times I succeed. It’s very rare that I let someone get close to me … and I never once cared about a person to later stop caring about them. Never happened. And I’m talking about all kinds of relationships, from an ex boyfriend to family, friends, whatever. Even after years went by with no contact and I still care about them and if I allow myself to get swept in the memories, I miss them deeply. And even though I know many people can go from caring about someone to not giving a fuck about them, I know for sure that “endings” are no fun for anyone. Anyway, no matter what happens we do go on … more damaged and fucked up every time but we continue. With few exceptions.

I also hate how distracting those personal dramas are. I feel like … well, not like a have a “mission” but I do see the world for what it is and I feel like I have to do something. Because most people don’t want to see it, they are content with making the best out of each day and never stop to take a look around. We are destroying ourselves, we are destroying the world we live in and everything around us. And if we who can see that don’t try to change it ..who will ? Whenever I see Maryam Namazie speak I get humbled by her will and bravery. I hope someday I will grow enough "balls" to do more than just talk to a camera.

But I don’t think it’s gonna happen today. Today I plan on watching a movie, maybe make a book review if I’m up for it and hopefully we’ll get some clear skies cos I always feel better after stargazing. Btw …thanks M. for putting up with my moodiness ;)

If you had the patience to read all this crap, I'm really sorry ;) Here is a real activist, Maryam Namazie's :

Smoke

I watched a couple videos about drugs and their "relationship" with spirituality and I was about to make a reply but after I turned on the camera , as I was thinking about what I was about to say, I realized that Gary (DoNotGod, Inmendham, etc on YouTube) said everything there was to be said and I remained "wordless" so instead this turned into a smoking video.

Yes I use pot, not everyday but most of the times I use it a couple times a week, although there are times when a couple months go by without smoking just cos I don't feel like it. The thing is, I admit I smoke it because I like it, not because I think it's "beneficial" (for me) in some other way. And I like it cos' it makes me feel good without having to pay a high price for it (not talking about money). I never got into harder drugs. I never even got into smoking tobacco precisely because (for me) the price I'd pay is not worth the pleasure I'd get from it. I know people smoke pot for different reason but please just stop with the "argument from spirituality" ... smoking pot doesn't "enlighten" you, it doesn't make you see things clearer, it doesn't make you understand things better, it doesn't make you a better person and it certainly DOES NOT lead you to "another dimension". It's just chemicals affecting the brain, nothing more , nothing less.

However, I do hate it when heavy drinkers are preaching about how bad pot is. It may be for you but not for me. I do drink on occasions but never to get drunk because I DON'T LIKE being drunk. I like being high. For me, alcohol is an inhibitor while pot is an activator. When I'm drunk I just feel nauseated and wanna go to sleep. When I'm high I feel like I wanna dance and write and think and talk about everything and fuck and go out in the rain. I just feel good and for me personally, in some 12 years since I've been an occasional pot smoker, there have been no side effects besides the fact that sometimes (rarely) my eyes sting a bit for a couple hours.

Anyway, here's the smoking video ...I know it's all pointless and shit but I just got Hollywood like that today. What can you do ?

Thank you Alan

For my charity auction winner :)



More details are in this video by dprjones :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igKym4pcONM
My auction link was this : http://tinyurl.com/l8fox