k-rina

The US vlog

2011-08-03T08:07:00.000-07:00

Sorry, sorry, SORRY this took so long, I had the video ready days ago but didn't have internet. First part is just an introduction and me rambling, feel free to skip it.

Part 1 - Introduction:

Part 2 - Las Vegas and New York:

I don't know how I managed to get NO footage or pictures with DJ Grothe or with Larry. Fail.

Dude, where's my boobz ?

2011-07-06T10:49:00.000-07:00

This was supposed to go up a couple days ago but my internet is being an asshole.

US Visa thing

2011-06-29T09:24:00.000-07:00

If I seem completely out of it it's because I am. Just too exhausted to react. See you tomorrow :)

I can save your life in the wilderness !

2011-06-21T09:40:00.000-07:00

My internet has been mostly (as in 95% of the time) down these last few days, so this is what I've been up to.

I. need. sleep.

Navy showers for my birthday please ?

2011-06-15T10:07:00.000-07:00

Cats rule the Universe. Birthdays are lame.

From the almighty Wikipedia :

"A navy shower (or "sea shower") is a method of showering that allows for significant conservation of water and energy by turning off water during the "middle" portion. An initial thirty seconds or so are used to get wet, followed by soap and lather, which is then rinsed off in a minute or less. The total time for the water being on is typically under two minutes.

Navy showers originated on naval ships, where supplies of fresh water were often scarce. Using this method, crew members were able to stay clean, while conserving their limited water supply. The idea has been adopted by many people who wish to conserve water and the energy needed to heat the water, for both environmental and economic reasons. Maritime cruisers often take navy showers when they are not in a port with easy access to fresh water. A ten-minute shower takes as much as 230 L (60 U.S. gallons) of water, while a navy shower usually takes as little as 11 L (3 U.S. gallons); one person can save 56,000 L (15,000 U.S. gallons) per year."

Breathing can kill you!

2011-06-09T06:33:00.000-07:00

FACT!

I walk with purpose!

2011-06-06T10:23:00.001-07:00

Stressing

2011-06-05T04:45:00.000-07:00

I vlog on my blog or something

2011-06-04T11:58:00.000-07:00

etc and such

Moving. Cats. More Cats. Awesome Hair.

2011-06-01T03:11:00.000-07:00

Looking absolutely glamorous.

For the "Cribs" video I mentioned, click HERE !

Lara Logan talks about her sexual assault in Egypt

2011-05-03T05:57:00.000-07:00

Her interview with 60 Minutes.

My story

2011-04-30T07:20:00.001-07:00

I don’t know if it’s such a good idea to talk about this in public. Normally I avoid giving away information that someone might use against me in any kind of way. But at the same time, I’m thinking this may actually help someone who has been sexually assaulted or might find themselves in a similar situation at some point. Also, what happened to me tells an entire story about how corrupt the police department is here. So here it goes.

I was almost 16 and on a second date with this guy who was 18 and going at the same high school with me. It was a couple months before summer break and (in his case) graduation. We were in his car, kissing, when he started pushing things further than I wanted to. At first I thought he was just getting a bit carried away, so I explained to him that I never had sex and that I like him but I don’t know him well enough and I don’t want to lose my virginity like this. We talked about it and he seemed reasonable. He kept trying to kiss me while I was talking, but he wasn’t aggressive, not at this point.

We talked like that for a while with him trying to convince me, until I started to get pissed off with him insisting so much and I flat out told him I’m not arguing this anymore and I want to go home, now. I was also thinking I don’t want to see him again because he was acting like a jerk, but I didn’t tell him that … I think somewhere in the back of my mind there was this semi-fear lurking around and I didn’t want to get him mad. But he would just not let it go. I couldn’t believe he just kept insisting and going for it even more when I made it so clear I want to go home. When I started struggling and pushing him away is when everything went to hell. He got aggressive, grabbed me by my hair, started calling me names, trying to immobilize me.

I think it was just at this point that I realized I am in real danger. It felt so unreal. I remember things almost like they didn’t happen to me but to someone else, but at the same time I remember I was VERY aware of it all… so hard to put this feeling into words. I was perfectly lucid. I knew what he wanted to do. I was desperate to get out of that car. I kept repeating over and over again that I will report him. That if he does this, I’ll put him in jail. I was so lucid I was actually trying to get to his logic, to put him off this. He was telling me something back but for the life of me I don’t remember what it was. I was fighting him with all my strength but I didn’t feel any pain. I know it should have hurt, because the next day I was bruised allover, my arms were practically black from bruises. But at the time I didn’t feel any of that. I just kept pushing him and kicking and hitting him. I wanted out so bad. One of the few things I remember him telling me was that he will cut my face. But to this day I can’t remember if he had a knife or not. I don’t think he did. Or if he had one, he never used it. He only managed to unzip my hoodie and he was trying to get me to hold steady but I kept struggling. I managed to open the door of the car then kept on kicking him until I felt out of it, then I started running. I was sure he was after me and I ran as fast as I could … but he never followed me. I don’t know for how long I ran but considering the distance from the point I was initially, to the point where I stopped after I just couldn’t breathe anymore, it may have been 15 or 20 minutes. I found a cab and went to the police.

Now, I have to repeat that I was not even 16. I had never been through anything like this in my life and I was completely ignorant of the law. The police officer on duty called me in an office where there was this other guy. I told them what happened. I remember how fucking frustrating their questions were. They kept on asking if I was sure “he didn’t just think I was into it to” and I kept explaining that we practically had a god damn fight. I showed them how my hoodie had the zipper torn and they said that “this could happen in a number of ways, even before the incident”. They were asking me if this guy has a girlfriend, how good his grades were (like WTF??!!) and all sort of irrelevant shit that just drove me mad.

Then they went out and a woman came in to examine me. She looked at my bruises (which were not that obvious at this point, they were VERY obvious by the next day though), at the scratch I had on my shoulder and the big bump on the back of my head that at this point really started to hurt. She commented that “oh, it’s not that bad dear, you’re a little tiny thing, he could have really messed you up if he put his mind to it”. When I told her I was fighting back too, she gave me a fake sympathetic smile, as in “yeah, right”. I remember felling pure rage through the entire thing.

Then, the guys came back in, asked me for his full information (I had his name, his phone number, everything), then one of them went out again. I waited for some 20 minutes until he came back, then he told me to go home, and that they will ask him in to question him but I don’t have to be present. They told me I should go home and take a shower and NOT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT THIS AT THIS POINT. I know I may seem like a complete idiot for taking their advice, but I thought it must be a “police thing” and trusted them. I was living with my grandmother at the time and she was sleeping when I got in, I went home, took a shower and went to bed.

The next day I went to school and for a couple hours everything seemed normal. I only told one of my friends what happened. Then I was called into the principal’s office. I went in and there was the school principal, the guy who attacked me, his parents and a police officer. The guy’s mother seemed very empathetic to me and kept apologizing and holding my hand in hers. The guy’s father was saying he is appalled by his son’s behavior. The officer asked me if I want a parent present there, or if I’m ok with the school principal being there as an adult in charge of me. I only had my grandma and wasn’t about to call her, so I said I accept that.

The police guy asked me if I want to press charges and I said I do. Then he told me to give this some more thought. He told me I will destroy the life of a young man with no criminal record, who didn’t really hurt me, who just made this one mistake and is truly sorry for it, and who’s about to graduate and go to college and I will destroy his entire future with this. I didn’t give a shit about that.

Then he told me that if I do press charges, I will have to appear at hearings, that this will take months and months, that it may get in the press and maybe even on TV, and if I really want to “put myself through that”. I was thinking about this, about all my class mates and the entire high school and my mom who was not even in the country and everyone knowing about this, and how mortifying it would be if people would really read about me in the paper. While I was thinking, the guy’s mother asked him to apologize to me, which he did. She said he learned his lesson, they they are punishing him for what he did and that I have no reason to be afraid of him. I wasn’t afraid of him. I absolutely HATED him. I never felt this kind of hatred in my life, I literally wanted to see him run over by a truck, preferably with me behind the wheel. I said that I’m not going to sit by and let him get away with this. The principal said he wouldn’t. That he will be expelled on bad behavior, he won’t be allowed to take his exams, which meant that he won’t be able to apply to college. I realize what a bad decision I made, but I accepted this. I was satisfied that he will get *some* punishment without me doing anything and without anyone finding out about what happened and me having to go through that “shame”. I was also pleased to see he was heavily bruised (by me) as well. I was so stupid.

Just a couple years later when I started to have some thought of my own, I realized how wrong all of this was. That what they did was probably illegal. The police officer never even told me his name. I don’t even know if that guy was really expelled, maybe he just got transferred to another highschool and graduated anyway. I kept on wondering if he did that to anyone else. If he did, I would have part of that responsibility … I just hope that having to deal with the police may have put him off trying this again. But it’s just a hope.

I know that for many other people who’ve been sexually assaulted my story doesn’t seem that bad. And I can only imagine what a victim of rape must go through. Because for me, what happened affected me for years. I never went on a date after that. Both my ex boyfriend and my now husband have been friends with me for many years before we hooked up. I never went through the whole “meeting a new guy, going on a date” kind of thing that most teenagers do. I had to really trust someone to get close to them. And to this day, I dread running. All my friends, including people here on the internet, know that I don’t run. In highschool I got myself a fake medical notice that said I am exempt from doing sports. Now I joke about this often, saying how I rather sit there and wait for the criminal to get me rather than run away from him, “cos I’m just lazy like that”. But the truth is, every time I run it’s like I get thrown back in time and find myself running from him until I can’t breathe anymore. I know this sounds very weird…and not at all a big issue. But it’s little things like this that will stay with me forever, making me wonder if things were worse, how much would that have affected and changed me. Like I said, I can’t even imagine it.

I don’t want to read this post so please excuse the typos.

On Libya & the no-fly zone

2011-03-29T06:10:00.000-07:00

So I've seen a couple video quite critical of the UN intervention in Libya, claiming that the no-fly zone is just another implementation of American Imperialism in their step-by-step attempt to take control over Libya and its oil.

For those of you who haven't read any news for a while, there's been a major uprising in Lybia against the current leader Muammar Gaddafi and his regime, with the protesters asking for new leadership and democratic elections. Gaddafi's reaction to the protest was not only to start shooting at the demonstrators, but also to surround the cities with tanks and artillery and bomb the shit out of unarmed civilians from both land and air.

In response to Gaddafi's attacks, earlier this month, as part of the Resolution 1973, the UN approved a no-fly zone, which basically prevents libyan military aircrafts from attacking civilian targets. This action was solicited and supported by Libya's deputy ambassador to the United Nations Ibrahim Dabbashi, as well as by the libyan protesters and civilians (though this cannot really be demonstrated).

So why would people oppose the no-fly zone you ask ? In my opinion, because some people are so set against American Imperialism that they decided to characterize this action as such (regardless of the the fact that it was France who initiated the no-fly zone in the first place). They claim that there are no humanitarian reasons behind this action, that the only concern here is Libya's oil supply, and that launching missiles at Libya is in no way helping its people.

While in principle I do agree that "humanitarian bombing" is at least suspicious, if not self-contradictory, I also have to acknowledge that you cannot establish a no-fly zone without military intervention. In order to prevent further attacks on civilians, you HAVE TO take down the military targets on the ground. There's just no way around it. If you think there is an alternative to that, I would sure like to know it.

Something else that comes up constantly is the question "Why Libya?". Why isn't there an intervention in Darfur or Bahrain or Yemen, etc, where the people are also oppressed and there are violent protests and people are getting shot at too.

This reminds me of the Green Revolution in Iran, where the same people were questioning why the media is paying so much attention to Iran and "why not to Egypt, or Libya?" - as they were saying at that time. And if I have to, I might as well start digging up through the pile of comments and videos that have been made since then to demonstrate my point.

While I can very much admit that I am not the most educated person in foreign policies, I can still understand that a UN intervention to Darfur for instance, would be impossible for one obvious reason: Russia. I can also admit that there is vested interest in Libya, which produces about 2% of the world's oil. And yes, it pisses me off too that these political games are basically deciding who should be helped and who should be left ignored. What's happening throughout Middle East with the current uprisings clearly shows that people want change and they are willing to fight for it, even if that means literally fighting against bullets.

But while it is tragic that unarmed protesters are being shot at, there is a difference from that - to entire cities being shelled and surrounded by artillery and people being bombed, like it's been happening in Libya. These people cannot fight the government on their own. If there is also a vested interest for UN to intervene, I still think it's preferable to NOT doing anything and leaving them defenseless.

I think the argument against the intervention in Libya that annoys me the most is "oh, but people don't have it that bad there! They're fine! They even have free education and medical care and such." This is SUCH complete and utter bullshit! In my own country, we also had free education and medical care under the communist dictatorship. We also had no freedom. We couldn't get in and out of the country at will, we didn't have access to information (we had only one TV station and one radio station which basically broad-casted only what the government wanted us to know), we were freezing in the winter because the heat was getting turned off, we were reading at candle-light in the evening because the lights were shut down to save electricity, our homes were not safe because at any point the Security could burst in and interrogate us and search our places with no warning and without having to provide any reason. Anyone who said something that *might be interpreted as speaking against the government* was interrogated and most of the times incarcerated. Anyone who clearly spoke against the government was being shot.

I'm sorry for the digression but it simply infuriates me how narrow-minded can people be sometimes. How can they so ignorantly say that "Libyans are not really that oppressed, ya know" when they NEVER experienced that kind of oppression themselves, when they were born and raised with freedoms and rights that they are now taking for granted and they cannot even imagine living in a world without them. A world where you are so intolerably abused that you prefer to fight against bullets.

In my own country, we had no help. It was almost a "miracle" that the army (who was shooting at people and running them over with tanks) finally took the protester's side and helped them bring Ceausescu down. I was 8 years old when both my parents were facing the tanks because they wanted me to have the liberty to vote on who my leaders will be and to be able to speak my mind without fear of being shot. Muammar Gaddafi is a mass murdering tyrant who's been ruling Libya by force for 42 fucking years. These people cannot fight on their own against bombs.

So no, I don't oppose the no-fly zone. Which doesn't mean that I support imperialism or that I am pro-war (I spoke against the Iraq war numerous times) or that I believe the UN is God's gift to the Middle East or whatever fucking bullshit propaganda you're trying to make me part of.

If you oppose the no-fly zone, my question to you is what's your alternative ? And no, just giving arguments against my arguments will not be sufficient. I want to know what's YOUR proposed solution.

That's about it.

Criticizing Islam

2011-03-22T07:56:00.000-07:00

Video I had to private from YouTube because audio got disable due to the music I used. Google is lame like that. I have been given permission to use the pictures and names at the end.

Council of Ex-Muslims Forum HERE .

Their YouTube Channel , please subscribe HERE .

The article about Pakistani Muslims leaving Islam HERE .

My blog post about respecting the dead HERE .

Arguments against vegetarianism

2011-02-28T07:40:00.000-08:00

A couple days ago I asked you via Twitter, Facebook and YouTube to send me the best (or worst) arguments against vegetarianism that you either use yourself in debates on this subject, or you've heard other people use. And I specifically said I am talking about vegetarianism as a concept (idea), and not about your own personal preference to eat meat or not.

As I promised, I'm now going to address your arguments, but please keep in mind that this is NOT an attempt to convince YOU to become vegetarians. My goal with this particular post is simply to demonstrate that trying to argue against OTHER people being vegetarians is nonsensical, and maybe (hopefully) convince some of you to stop doing it. This is probably going to be a mile long, so feel free to just scroll down to the argument you personally find the most compelling. I will also appreciate it if you could spare a minute to read my request at the end. So here is what you've sent me, along with my rebuttals:

Meat is tasty.

Fine. I understand that most of you like it. But what you're basically saying here is "I personally like the taste of meat, therefor everyone else should eat it too". Can you see the logical flaw in that ? I started off with this argument because it is at the same time the most common and the most irrational of all. I know that for some of you it is virtually impossible to stop eating meat. I am the same way with sugar. I crave it everyday, even several times a day.I know it would be a permanent struggle for me to live without icecream, chocolate and so on. But this does not constitute in any way a basis for me arguing that everybody else should eat what I eat, just because I personally like it and crave it.

Humans are omnivores. Vegetarianism is unnatural.

This is the first of what I categorize as "arguments from nature". I know that some vegetarian and vegan activists claim the opposite, that it is unnatural for humans to eat meat. Both positions annoy me to no end. Yes, humans are omnivores, since we can eat and get nutrients from both plants and animals.

But why should we derive an "ought" from an "is" ? Just because we are naturally omnivores it doesn't mean we also MUST be omnivores. News flash people: biology is not destiny. Something being "natural" doesn't automatically make it mandatory, or even desirable for that matter.

People may not be "naturally" monogamous, but this shouldn't stop one from making the decision of having only one partner, if this is what they wish to do. Nature is not some sort of God who makes rules about what's right or wrong. That's why we have airplanes even if it's "unnatural" for humans to fly, and we have contraception even if it's "unnatural" to have sex without the purpose of reproduction, and why some of us are monogamous and why some of us are vegetarians and so on.

Humans have canines.

This is a variation of the same claim discussed above, and I'm not gonna dwell on it for long because - and I'm sorry if I offend anyone - this argument is just plain dumb. Horses have canine teeth too. So what ? If you really find this argument compelling you should try ripping a dead cow (I mean a carcass, uncooked) with your bare teeth, see how successful you are.

Meat-eating is evolutionary advantageous because, without meat, it would have been unlikely for proto-humans to get enough energy and nutrition from the plants available in their African environment. A high-protein diet was essential in developing our large brain.

I'm not the one to deny this. However, this argument is absolutely irrelevant to people living today in developed countries, where we have access to protein-rich vegetarian diets that simply render meat-eating unnecessary. You have to acknowledge the simple fact that you don't eat meat because you NEED it to survive, you eat it because you LIKE the taste of it. Which brings me to the next point:

Vegetarian diets are unhealthy.

This is pure bollox, as anyone who has the interest to do some basic 5 minutes research can find out. All (ALL!) the necessary proteins, nutrients and amino acids can be found in vegetables, nuts, grains, eggs and dairy. In fact, vegetarian diets contain lower levels of saturated fat, cholesterol and animal protein (that's why vegetarians are at much lower risks of heart disease, cancers of the esophagus, colon or liver, renal disease, cerebro-vascular disease and so on) and higher levels of carbohydrates, fiber, vitamins, minerals (especially magnesium and potassium) and antioxidants.

The benefits of vegetarian diets and the health risks of meat-consumption abuse are basically non-debatable in the fields of nutrition and food science. Not to mention that anyone falling for this argument must ignore all the people who are living perfectly healthy lives on vegetarian diets, whether they do it for religious reasons (nearly half a billion vegetarians living in India alone), for health reasons, or out of concern for animal welfare (which is my reason for being a vegetarian for some 8 years now).

The "risks" most of you elaborated on are not relevant to vegetarian diets, but vegan diets. For those of you who may not know the difference, vegetarians don't eat meat, while vegans don't consume anything that came from an animal (no diary, eggs, honey, etc).

It is true that as a vegan you may have to be more careful with your food and some vegans will need to take supplements (vitamin and mineral pills). Personally, I tried being a vegan for some 6 months and it didn't work out (apparently, my body cannot assimilate synthetic supplements that well, plus I'm not a very organized eater). Which is not to say that other people cannot manage to do it, there are millions of vegans worldwide and some of the spokespersons include athletes and bodybuilders.

Now back to vegetarianism, I am sure you can name a couple of rare diseases or conditions where the person actually needs meat in their diet to be healthy. But you can't possibly consider this a proper argument against vegetarianism overall.

Denying your own nature (being a vegetarian) is a psychological disorder.

I know some of you may gasp right now, but yes, some people did actually make this argument (as you can see on my facebook page). I find this too absurd to even try to debunk it, so you can just remember all the people saying that homosexuality is against nature and a mental disorder, and apply the refutations to this case as well.

Animals kill and eat other animals all the time, so why shouldn't we do it too?

This basically makes the transition from the "arguments from nature" to the "arguments from morality". Yes, animals kill eachother all the time. Animals also often kill eachother's youngs in order to eliminate the competition. We have laws against that. And unlike animals, we have healthcare systems, protection for minorities, social help for the disabled, laws against abuse at the work place, laws against sexual harassment, and so on. I'm sure you'll agree all of it is good stuff.

We even have laws against animal cruelty. But ofcourse, those laws are meant for our pets and for the pretty wildlife. But they don't really apply to cows or pigs or other animals that we use for meat consumption. Why is that ? Why should the torturing of a dog make one feel sick but the torturing of a pig should make one feel nothing ? And if you want to deny that most "meat animals" are, in fact, subjected to torture, you can watch THIS and the related videos on the right (warning: it's graphic).

This argument basically translates to "animals suffer in the wild anyway, so there's nothing wrong with them also suffering in our care". In making this claim you are deliberately ignoring the fact that along with our big brains which produced this thing called "civilization", we also developed compassion, empathy, what we refer to as "humanity". So why do we apply it so arbitrarily ? Why are people outraged when they see images with puppy dogs being drowned or dolphins being slaughtered, but yet manage to ignore all the horrors that the "meat animals" go through ? This is not an appeal to emotions. This is plea for you to acknowledge that it is inhumane to subject other sentient creatures to a life of torment for our mere comfort.

But if we all stopped eating these animals, they would go extinct.

First of all, the scenario where everybody will suddenly become vegetarian over night is impossible. But to answer a more likely hypothetical situation, if more and more people become vegetarians, the farmers will breed the animals less and less due to the decreasing demand for meat. I doubt people will ever completely give up using animal products such as eggs and diary, but since most vegetarians are against animal abuse, the meat companies will need to adjust to the rules imposed by the majority. This is starting to happen in the European Union for instance, where there are more and more people spreading awareness about the meat industry, and the laws regarding animal welfare are much stricter than in US (and keep on improving).

But leaving all that aside ... as a general thought, since this argument is coming from people who obviously oppose vegetarianism, allow me to wonder why would they be so concerned about an animal going extinct, while at the same time being perfectly ok with the idea of that animal being created with the sole purpose of being killed. Where's the logic in this ?

But you do eat plants. Plants are alive and feel pain too. You're a hypocrite.

There are some studies out there which tested how plants react to different stimuli, some people interpreting these reactions as feelings of pain or fright (no reputable study claims this, mind you). But this is all there is to it: an interpretation. Yes, a plant can respond to stimuli, but there is no scientific evidence of any kind demonstrating how something can perceive fear or pain without having a brain and a nervous system.Pain is not just a reaction, but a SENSATION generated by the brain. Fear is a product of consciousness, which again is generated by the brain. Plants. Don't. Have. Brains.

And since I know most of my readers have at least some basic knowledge of evolutionary biology, I have a question for y'all: keeping in mind that the evolutionary advantage of pain is to increase the chances of survival by trying to avoid being harmed (i.e.: being eaten alive hurts, therefor you have the incentive to run from predators), what would be the advantage of a carrot or a potato feeling pain, since they cannot escape predators by running, and, generally speaking, they cannot defend themselves from harm? I'd love to know how you reason this out.

As a personal opinion, I consider this argument to be dishonest if the person making it doesn't also believe that cutting the leaf of a plant is the same with cutting the leg of a cat.

Animals are dumb so they don't matter.

This is a simplification of the idea that the value of life lies within the abilities of the brain, and since animal intelligence is nowhere near comparable with the complexity of the human brain, their lives have simply no value outside of us profiting from them.

Again, let me answer with a question: would you have a problem if a human being was treated the way a cow in a factory farm is, provided that human being is mentally retarded to the point where the functionality of his brain is similar to that of a cow?

With agriculture, the life of many animals is ended (i.e. mice that get accidentally killed in the harvests). There is massive deforestation because of vegetarians who consume soy products & many animals die that way. In short, vegetarians are harming the earth and other animals.

I acknowledge the fact that human existence, as a rule, is sustainable at the expense of other life. I know I am harming other creatures simply because I live. However, why should this stop me or others from trying to minimize the damage? And what is the logic in you opposing this attempt ?

As for your claims, it might interest you to find that the meat industry is one of the top contributors to environmental degradation worldwide (land degradation, air and water pollution, loss of biodiversity, emissions of greenhouse gases). Also, over 90% of the soy-meal harvest is used to feed animals.

And ...this is it :/ Out of 250+ comments on facebook, 15 pages worth of comments on my YouTube channel, plus countless twitter replies, this is pretty much all I could find, with a couple variations. Plus some overly ridiculous ones which I assume (hope?) were posted as a joke. Stuff like :

If you like animals so much, why are you eating all their food ?

I don't think there's any point in waiting for someone to provide relevant studies that show how farm animals are endangered because of people eating their food .

Hitler was a vegetarian.

And he had a mustache.

Etc.

Having all this said, I think (apologies if I'm mistaken) that the reason most people get vocal against vegetarianism is not because of the arguments above, but more as a reaction to vegan and vegetarian activists who sometimes push this idea that if you are a meat-eater it means you are a shit human-being. You know, accusing you of cannibalism, of promoting animal holocaust, of being a murderer and so on. Maybe these PETA-type tactics work on some people, personally I find them annoying and counter-productive since in my opinion, these aggressive approaches are what trigger people into "fighting back" against vegetarianism. When people are being attacked, they tend to react and defend themselves.

If you are one of the people who get so enraged by these accusations that you feel you have to "strike back", please just consider the motivation behind what you stand for. Is that really worth it ? Because at the end of the day, as annoying as they sometimes can get, vegan and vegetarian activists are acting out of genuine concern for the life of animals and because they want to stop the abuse. You are reacting because they piss you off. Is that a good enough reason to basically militate AGAINST animal welfare ? Because this is what the anti-vegetarian stance ends up being, if you are willing to consider the bigger picture.

I am not here to pass judgment on anyone. You like meat. You want to keep eating it. Ok. I can understand that. And you know that no one will take that away from you by force. But please stop opposing the people who are willing to give it up by choice. That's pretty much all I am asking you to consider.

Some bad news and some drama..

2011-02-19T10:10:00.000-08:00

Hey.

Yesterday I was thinking about writing a blog on this trivial drama that's been bothering me in the last few days, mainly because some of you asked me to address it. But then my mom called and re-defined what the word "bothered" means. I will still deal with what you want me to, but first please bare with me because I simply need to write about what's going on with me.

I did try talking to a friend over the phone today but when I got to what I wanted to say the words would just not come out. So maybe writing is a better idea. For those of you who don’t know, yesterday I found out that my brother (who lives in Germany with my mother since 3 years ago ) has just been diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis, better known as Hashimoto's disease.

To put it simply, my brother’s body decided to destroy his thyroid gland. It's an autoimmune disease. There is no cure for it, only treatment. My brother has another medical condition which I will not mention here because of the stigma attached to these types of illnesses. I know people can be ruthless and I don’t want anyone bringing that up at any point in any circumstances. I can say that it is a temporary condition for which he will only need treatment until he's in his late teens. For Hashimoto’s disease, he will need treatment his entire life.

I very often heard people say “how could this happen to ME?!”. And the response I always had in my mind was “life sucks, sometimes things happen”. But I never understood the depth of this feeling until yesterday. You see, I know that bad things happen. I know these things are unpredictable. But still, my brain cannot stop from asking “Why him?!”. He’s just a kid. He’s just 13. He is my brother. Why him ?! I can now understand what all those people felt. When it hits you, it is almost psychologically impossible to accept it.

Since yesterday I’ve been reading virtually non stop about Hashimoto’s. Almost all of it was encouraging. With treatment, my brother can still have a manageable and relatively normal life. I’m trying to think positively. He has been diagnosed early. He has great doctors. The treatment is free. If he was still living in Romania, none of this would be possible for him. I am trying to think he is actually lucky. But I’m failing. I will probably be able to convince myself of that at some point ... eventually.

So you can imagine that right now I have little patience for trivial stuff but I know that if I don't address this other issue it will keep nagging at me. I don't want to subject 60K+ youtube subscribers to a video that would basically be drama and nothing more, not to mention that I'm not up for making a video anyway. So I may as well get this over with now. This is what I said a couple days ago in a twitter post:

“The sexual assault of Lara Logan is yet another painful reminder of Egypt's attitude towards women.”

If somehow you never heard about the incident, please watch THIS before continuing reading.

Some people said that my statement was bigoted, that I blamed this one incident on an entire nation and that my words were “an indictment on ALL Egyptians”. Which is a strawman bigger than a cornfield. First of all let me explain what I meant by “Egypt’s attitude towards women”. I was talking about the fact that over 90% of Egyptian girls are subjected to genital mutilation, that women are subjected to sexual harassment and domestic violence at alarming rates, that they cannot leave the country without their husbands’ permission, that the law is biased against them and they are often ignored when asking for help and so on. If you want to read more about it you can click HERE or read THIS blog or watch THIS video or research it yourself .

Now back to Lara Logan. Did I judge an entire nation based on ONE incident ?! Hell no! I said the incident is a REMINDER of an ongoing problem within that nation. Not an indicator of it. Not evidence for it. I know my English is far from perfect but at least I understand the meaning of words. If Viktória Mohácsi would come to Romania and got brutalized by a mob, I could say the incident is a reminder of Romania’s attitude towards the Roma people, who are generally discriminated by the law and vastly by the citizens. This does NOT mean that all Romanians are racists. Or that all Egyptians are misogynists. Recognizing there was problem and a prevailing attitude in Egypt that made the sexual assault on Logan more likely to happen, does NOT equal bigotry.

I know there are people who genuinely misunderstood what I meant, and to them I apologize for not being more clear. But there are also people who intentionally twisted my words and continue to do so.

Another thing I want to address is the accusation of being “a graduate from the university of wikipedia”, uttered by the same person who called me a bigot. For everyone who didn’t know, I am a college drop-out. Not by choice. I simply couldn’t afford it anymore after 2 years. So I am the first to admit that most of my knowledge does come from independent study, weather it is independent reading, lectures, audio books and so on. But should this invalidate my points or damage my credibility ? There have been times when people (who can testify to this) asked me to make a video on one topic or another and I simply told them that I am not sufficiently informed to talk about it. I see no shame in that. This is why most of my informative-type videos are on subjects I thought about and researched for years. You don't need a PhD to learn about things you are interested in.

That being said, I will probably not make a new video soon. I usually talk about things I am invested in and feel strongly about, and at this point I am too drained by what’s going on in my family to focus on anything else. I know this post is long. Thank you if you managed to read all of it. And please excuse the eventual typos and bad phrasing.

What's wrong with me ?!

2011-02-06T07:15:00.000-08:00

I know I haven’t written here in ages (I should rename this blog to “CristinaRadCantWriteForShit”) and you are probably expecting something on Egypt or a post about the US bill that tries to redefine rape (did you know that there’s a thing called "forcible rape" ? Because in my naivety I thought EVERY rape is about forcing someone into sex. Silly me!) in an attempt to prevent abortions being funded by taxpayer money, because free abortions would obviously trigger what is now known as “The 2012 New World Order Zombie Apocalypse”. True story.

But I'm not gonna write about none of that (double negatives rock!) because I’m in a bad mood and just not up to it. So instead I thought I could vent about my week. I hope you don’t mind. Oh…you do? That’s too bad cos here it comes:

So first I drop my phone into my glass of wine. How did that happen, you ask ? Well, I pick up my phone and then IT’S IN MY DAMN GLASS. Gone. Dead. Killed by wine. Which btw, it’s how I wanna go too.

Then there was this creepy ass jerk in the bus. He most likely recognized me from YouTube. Because he kept staring at me for the entire freaking ride, which was around 15 minutes. No, he wasn’t checking me out. And he wasn’t looking at me in that “Hm, I think I know her from somewhere” type of way. Oh no! He was looking at me like I was dog shit on his shoe. The kind of look you'd have if someone offered you to smell a fish that died two weeks ago. Creepiness!

And then I walked into my kitchen wall. And hurt my shoulder. Quite bad. It’s still aching. If you have a reasonable explanation for how someone can walk into their own damn wall, please enlighten me. Because since I’m not blind, I can only assume that around here shit be moving! Oh, did I mention that I also apologized to the wall ?

And then there was the bug. Though “bug” is a gross understatement. A big ass fucking roach (possibly bigger than your penis) was chilling on my floor, all casual like it’s nobody’s business. It wold be way to embarrassing to tell how this worked out, but it involved a neighbor and everyone survived (besides my dignity).

And then I put salt in my coffee instead of sugar. And obviously I didn’t realize it UNTIL I took a nice good sip. If you never tried it, you should drop your curiosity and consider yourself lucky because that's just nasty!

I seriously don’t know what’s wrong with me. One of these days you should expect to hear that I died by drowning in my bowl of soup.

Ho !

2010-12-25T03:25:00.000-08:00

Florin : We’re gonna spend the Christmas at my folks this year.

Me : I think you’ve mistaken the pronoun there.

Florin : Do NOT tell me you don’t wanna come!

Me : Fine. I won’t tell you. Just don’t expect me there.

Florin : Are you serious ? What do you wanna do, stay at home alone ? Christmas is a time to spend with family!

Me : Yeah sure… YOUR family.

Florin : Criss, we are married. My family is your family.

Me : That’s like saying that just because we're married, my money is your money. I mean, maybe, in theory, if it’s a really lousy theory. But in reality ? You wish!

Florin : Uhm… you. have. no. money.

Me : Whatever bitch, point is that if I did have money it would all be mine!

Florin : You’re gonna make me say bad things you know.

Me : About my mamma ?

Florin …the fuck ??!!

Me : Cos that’s what I was just thinking, that you’re gonna end up making me say bad things about your mamma. See how much we think alike ?

Florin : You're talking like you’re in one of your videos. It’s really annoying and not funny at all.

Me : Your face is annoying and not funny at all.

Florin : So are you coming ?

Me : Yo’ mamma is so fat she …she… really needs to lose some weight ?

Florin : Look, it’s just this one night, it will be over before you know it. And if you behave, I bet Santa will have a little surprise for you.

Me : Stop talking to me like I'm a child!

Florin : There will even be cookies.

Me : Hmmm… am I allowed to ask your mom who will win in an epic battle between Santa and Baby Jesus ?

Florin : Please be serious.

Me : I mean, they both must be sick and tired of sharing the spotlight on Christmas. And I know it’s tempting to say Baby Jesus because he’s, like, God and all that bullshit … but he is just an infant and Santa looks quite fit for his age.

Florin : Ok, fine, don’t come! Just out of curiosity, if the house burns down while I’m gone and you die in the fire, how long do you think before it is socially acceptable for me to start dating again ?

Me : Marry Christmas baby!

Florin : I love you! (Ok, he didn’t really say “I love you” but I could tell that's what he meant from the loving way he slammed the door on his way out)

Happy Festivus y'all ! And btw ... Santa or Baby Jesus, who wins and why ?

UPDATE : Reading the comments I can see that some people think both me and Florin were actually 100% serious throughout our conversation. All I can say is ... oh boy :)

Why I'm Against Sharia Courts in the West

2010-11-06T10:36:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to better explain my position, I want to argue the two main points I heard proponents making.

1. Sharia Courts are only limited to civil matters.

I can think of only a few things more damaging to a society than civil matters being settled under religion-based laws. And as hard as I try, I can't understand why the proponents choose to ignore the FACT that Muslim Arbitration Tribunals and Sharia Courts are discriminatory, especially against women and children.

One year after Sharia Courts started operating in UK, crime correspondent Richard Edwards published an article with some interesting findings. From August 2007 to September 2008, Muslim Tribunal Courts have dealt with six cases of domestic violence between married couples and. In each of these cases, the judges ordered the husbands to take anger management classes. There was no further punishment and all six wives withdrew the police complaints they had filed.

In another case of inheritance dispute, the estate of a Midlands man was divided between his two sons and three daughters. The judges gave the sons twice as much as the daughters.

I am only mentioning a couple of cases to point out what should be to no one's surprise : the discriminatory nature of these Courts.

Under Sharia, sons inherit twice as much as daughters. A man's testimony is worth more than a woman's. A husband can divorce his wife simply by repudiating her, while the wife must provide "valid" reasons for divorce, which are usually very difficult to prove. Also, a woman's marriage contract is between her husband and her male guardian. A divorced woman who remarries loses custody of her children. And the list can go on.

2. It's their choice.

Proponents also argue the voluntary nature of Sharia Courts. That if both parties agree, then it's nobody's business to judge the rulings as being arbitrary/discriminatory. But the reality is that both parties do NOT agree, that's why they appeal to the Court's ruling. You file a case in Civil Court when you think you've been hurt financially or physically. And while the proponents argue that Sharia Courts are an alternative, just another option available to Muslims, the reality is that for many people this actually means taking away the only option to a fair hearing. How can a Muslim woman stand up against her family and community and ultimately, against God's system of law, when such a system is "available" ? And how many of these women are even aware of their rights under secular laws ?

Feel free to comment.

As an end note, I have to expresse that I am simply appalled by how many people think that implementing religious Courts of Law in secular societies is a good idea, even when confronted with the text and application of these laws.

I do defend people's right to practice their religion freely. But I can't, for the life of me, accept religion as a legal authority. Not in civil matters, not in any matters.

What you don't wanna hear during sex

2010-11-01T10:09:00.000-07:00

I love Twitter. It's like the most efficient way to spread vital information from which everybody can benefit. Information like this :

But some people just don't seem to get it. It's like they don't want to be informed. And as if it wasn't bad enough that they are willingly, like, choosing to be ignorant, they also seem to actively hate on us, the normal ones.
I'm gonna call this particular group of people "twignorants". Which should totally be a word from now on.

And one of the prime examples of twignorants is dprjones. BEHOLD! :

I know, right ?? It's all sorts of depressing to witness something like this. Kinda like watching Titanic, only without the sex.

And speaking of sex, in a last attempt to educate these people about the importance of Twitter, this is from earlier today :

Well, if you weren't a twignorant, you would have known what people don't wanna hear during sex, like, HOURS ago. Stuff like this :

"Yeah, I've been meaning to see a doctor about that..."
"Is it in yet ?"
"Excuse me sir, my name is Chris Hansen"
"Your father used to like the same thing!"
"What do you mean, IN? I'm finished!"
My granmum asking, "Where's the sugar, again?"
My partner yelling out their own name
"I don't think its contagious"
"You really need to paint your ceiling"
"Oh, now I remember why I became a lesbian..."
"John! Oh JOHN! Oh JOHNNNNNNNNNNNN!" (My name is Phillip)
"Wow, it's like a penis, but smaller!"
"You remind me of my uncle!"
"Sex never felt that good when I was a man"
“Can you put your socks back on please?”
"I am actually sixteen..."
"Do you mind if I turn on the TV?"
"You're the best. This evening"
Snoring
A sheep's "bahhh"
"Heil Hitler!"
"Luke. I am your father."

See ? This is the reason why Twitter is awesome and dprjones totally fails.

It's all about getting scared and eating candy!

2010-10-31T04:29:00.000-07:00

Ohi!
So I made a commitment to myself to write here at least once a week from now on, which is unfortunate for both of us : for me because I rarely get inspired, and for you because … well … I’ll show up in your blog subscriptions or e-mail and then you’ll feel compelled to click on my post just because you ARE already subscribed, and ignoring me would be rude, plus I know you're afraid of gypsy spells (which I totally need to learn how to do asap if I wanna have any viewers).
The honest truth is that I do like to write, and the even more honest truth is that I can’t write for shit. Seriously. Like, I need AntiBullshitMan to tell me where to properly put commas. I'm not even making this up. Go me!

And if this wasn't enough, yesterday I opened a movie reviews blog, just in case you feel masochistic enough to subscribe to that too : RadCinema

But the main point of this post is to wish everyone a Happy Halloween! Generally I'm not a fan of holidays, but if I were to celebrate only one of them, this would be it. Because I love all things scary. And also because I love candy. I can't really tell why, but Halloween seems like the best excuse ever to stuff your face with candy. Too bad for me (and for the candy shop owners) that we don’t really celebrate Halloween here. We don't have a “trick or treat” tradition, we are apparently incapable of making good use of pumpkins, and we don’t even get to dress like sluts and then put some bunny ears on our heads and call that a costume. It sucks.

On a happier note (I guess?), someone did scare me today, even though it was unintentional. My neighbor sometimes gets herself locked out because her door locks itself automatically, which may be great for security reasons, but it’s also not-great because of “my neighbor is a dumbass and always forgets her key inside the house” reasons. That, or she has Alzheimer. Which I really doubt, because she is only 23 and also because she never forgets to tell me at the end of the month that I have to pay my share for the mail service. Which is fucking annoying because I never get any mail, like EVER! Except for once or twice a month when I find an envelope in my mail box and I get super excited and I'm all “Oooh! A LETTER!”, but then it’s just bills. Fuck my life!

Anyway, I am the one who suffers the consequences every time my neighbor gets herself locked out because she gave me a spare key to her house for this purpose alone, probably knowing that she’s an idiot. So she starts ringing on my door, obviously waking me up since it was only 1 PM y'all ! And I go to open the door, not knowing that she finally brought home her doggy that she always talks about but for some reason she never cared to tell me that this “doggy” is THE SIZE OF A WELL FED PONY and that he starts barking uncontrollably every time an unsuspecting victim who just got out of bed opens the door for his idiot owner who always forgets her key.

What happened after that is a bit fuzzy, because when that OVERSIZED THING started barking I kinda went into a “shock mode" and I vaguely remember that I screamed and that people were looking at me funny and that my neighbor was like “OMG I can’t believe you are afraid of a dog” and I was like “well at least I’m not dumb enough to constantly lock myself out of my own house even though I totally don't have Alzheimer as an excuse, so I win!”, but I think I only said that in my mind, which is a good thing because that dog is fucking scary.

And since it’s Halloween and I just got scared shitless, I went and bought myself a tone of candy because, after all, that's tradition. Or something.

P.S. : Happy birthday Jerry ! I know you wanted me to make a scary video but since I couldn't, I can only hope my usage of commas is scary enough.

Assisted Suicide

2010-09-24T12:35:00.000-07:00

The following post is an addendum to my "Right to Die" video , please go ahead and watch that first if you haven't already.

I know that when most people are thinking about what suicide means, they have some images in mind... images of teenagers who cut their wrists in the bathroom or empty their mom's bottle of sleeping pills. This is usually far from the reality of someone who actually intends to take their own life. Wrist cutting and medicine overdose are (very often) deliberate forms of self harm or cries for attention, rather than suicide attempts. For the people who are indeed set to do it, the methods are much more brutal and the images much more shocking. The most common ways of suicide are by firearms and hanging. Other methods include jumping from hights, throwing self in front of a train or another moving vehicle, deliberate pesticide poisoning, intentionally crashing the car, setting self on fire or throat slitting.

So where am I going with this ? I am not trying to be morbid, but to simply point out that most suicide attempts are not really "attempts". The people who truly want to kill themselves are most of the time either successful or end up mutilated. The popular image of the depressed adolescent who "tries to commit suicide" is actually describing something else : a depressed adolescent who has indeed serious issues and fakes a suicide attempt as a cry for help. Most of them do it in their own homes, which is the place they are most likely to be found, and between the hours of 4 P.M. and midnight, which is the time of the day when someone is most likely to be around. These people don't really want to die, they want to be rescued. And don't get me wrong. These kids are NOT drama whores. They DO need help and if they are desperate enough to go to these extremes, it is a clear indication that they are going through serious issues. They must not be taken as a joke or ignored!

However, the people who intend to commit suicide are a different matter. They WANT to die. They will choose a way to make sure they end up dead. And they should not have to go through that. Weather you like it or not, some people make the decision that their life is not worth living. It is not YOUR choice to make, it is not YOUR life. And you shouldn't have a saying in it. Making assisted suicide available for them is not an encouragement, but an act of mercy and compassion. To believe that legalizing this will actually make more people want to do it, simply has no basis. People, as a general rule, desire to live. This won't change just because they have an option to die pain-free.

I know that most of you reading my blog and watching my videos are from the U.S. You don't have a social health-care system there yet, so this may sound strange. But my proposal is to make assisted suicide part of the health-care plan. It would be free, same as the psychiatric evaluation and assistance (those things are already free of charge in most European countries where a good health-care system is in place).

I'm going to stop here because I will probably make a second part ... I suspect it will be necessary once the comments to my video start piling up.

Summer 2010

2010-09-21T10:50:00.000-07:00

I forgot I had this footage from when Larry Kamerman was here ... thought I might as well do something with it . You get to see a bit of Romania too :) Oh well...

Respecting the Dead

2010-09-08T05:35:00.000-07:00

In my last YouTube video dealing with this entire "Mosque at Ground Zero" fiasco, I stated this :

<< Personally , I don’t give a crap about respecting the dead. They’re just … well…dead.. “Respecting” them is a social construct that has no meaning to me and I couldn’t care less about it. >>

Many people misinterpreted what said and were even offended by my words, as I could see from their comments. I don't understand exactly why, since I followed my statement with an explanation that, at the time, I thought it would make my point clear :

<< But I’m not an insensitive asshole and I can acknowledge that most people do see value in it. So, even if I didn’t care about this mosque, I did think it is in poor taste and I could understand why the families of the 9/11 victims would be offended by it . >>

Still, I received a number of comments "disagreeing" with me. What is there to disagree on ? My ...feelings ? I never said I am against people being affected by what happens to their loved ones AFTER they die. It's just that I (as in "me", "myself", right ?) am not. What is so offensive about that ?

I actually thought it was a bit funny how some people were trying to trigger an emotional response from me by insulting the people who (they thought) I loved and passed away. Starting with my "dead grandma" who is still alive, and ending with my dead hypothetical children that I will never have. Some of them went to very "gruesome" and explicit details of what they would do to my dead ones. The strongest emotional response they got out of me was "Ew!".

No, I don't care if someone insults my dead loved ones. I don't believe in any form of life after death and since they are dead, they obviously can't be affected by insults. I also don't care if someone "disrespected" their dead bodies, I have absolutely no emotional attachment to their corpses. I do value the memories I have about them. I cherish the little things I have left from them, sometimes I get nostalgic when I hear a song that my grandfather used to love, sometimes I go through the pictures I have with them, sometimes I even think "what would they say about this" when I do something I know they wouldn't like or they would appreciate. But I never visit their graves, their physical remains hold no importance to me.

If you are offended by this, I would have to ask why ? Are you offended by me thinking this or by me saying it ? And what meaning is there in honesty if you are offended by me simply saying what I think ?

Btw ... it's not like you will see me go around and "insulting" dead people, like my "sensitive" commenters tried to do. I would never do that because I know that most people feel differently than I do, and I can understand and respect THAT. I just personally don't relate to it . That's all.

Cribs Yo' !

2010-08-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

So I was filming on a project for Larry Kamerman when I had this idea to do a lil' Cribs parody. Btw, this aint really "my place" so the mess around is TOTALLY not my fault. I swear!

Kittehs !

2010-05-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

I know, I know .... I haven't posted anything here in a gazillion years. Until something more insightful comes to mind, here's a video with cats. That's about it. Yeah.

The Telescope, the Telescope !

2010-03-27T14:28:00.000-07:00

Setting up my scope. Yeah, I accidentally used the wrong aspect ratio when filming so I look like a skinny ass mofo bitch. Also, I realize the music is too freakin' loud. Shit happens. Below the video you have my impressions after the first use :) Enjoy.

So my Celestron (Astromaster 130EQ) is here and I got to take it out for some fun timez. I am a total novice, never worked with a telescope in my life so it was tricky getting used to it ...I actually had to search online info on how to use the mount :/ After I finally got the alignment right, first thing I pointed my scope at was, ofcourse, the moon. Using the 20mm EP it looked splendid, it gave a very sharp image of the craters and what I think it was some of the seas. Then I switched to the 10mm EP and I was amazed how much the image improved. I could even see individual rocks on the Moon's surface.

I turned the scope to Saturn and I was a bit disappointed that I could not see the rings. After a few minutes I managed to see two moons and realized I was actually looking at Jupiter and that's why I couldn't see "the rings", dur dur. I know, imma n00b. Since the sky wasn't perfectly clear (some clouds and a little fog) , the Planets were kinda shaky, especially Mars. Gonna wait for a clear sky night to see the full abilities of this scope when it comes to solar system exploration.

I switched to 20mm EP again and turned it deeper into space. I managed to find the Sigma Orionis and the Orion Nebula and even with this weather I could still distinguish many stars ... the thought that I am actually studying objects 1350 light years away gave me the chills :)

Overall I am still waiting for a night with a clearer sky to full test my scope but so far I am absolutely in love with it. I didn't use the Motor Drive yet because I wanted to move the scope around myself to get accustomed with it ... the motion cables work well and I can move it very smoothly. After I get more used to it I will try some astro-photography. I really don't remember being this excited! ! Thanks again Fred, I am so grateful to you for this wonderful gift <3

Insomnia

2010-02-19T14:40:00.000-08:00

Since I had the accident I haven’t been able to sleep. I did have insomnia before, coming and going at times, but it was never this bad. It got me to a point where I am in a very weird state …almost like drunk. Still, I don’t wanna treat it with pills yet . I have nothing against sleeping pills and the reason why I don’t wanna take them may seem really fucked up … but for some strange reason, my mind seems much clearer now.

I’m writing this now cos I’m gonna get into a subject I’ll never talk about again, no matter how things will roll. In Romania there is a group of nationalists called “Noua Dreapta”. I guess the English equivalent for that would be “The New Right”. Their slogan (as you can read on their official website if you are a Romanian), translates : “The New Right : For God, the People and the Country!”. Basically they claim to protect “Romanian orthodox values” which means that they oppose atheism, homosexuality, gypsies, immigrants, and so on.

A couple months after I started my YouTube channel, they found me and the threats began. Which I didn’t give a shit about, threats don't work on me. They tried to fuck with me on levels that went beyond YouTube flagging/hating/trolling/etc. They tried to “report” me here and there with some things they had no chance in hell to be taken serious for. For instance, they reported me for breaking the constitution, as apparently, “defaming” the country is unconstitutional here. Of course, that only applies in cases of war or political treason and such, so it had “fail” written allover it. They also reported my paypal account which got my access to it restricted. For about 3 days, until I got cleared ;)

So all in all, point is, they see me as the enemy and want my ass fried. So why am I talking about this now ? Because, in a strange twist of events, they will probably end up having my home address. Which, considering what I’ve just said, sounds pretty bad. And it probably is. They could also be having access to personal information about me, which, again, will be unpleasant. I am giving you guys a “heads up” on this, because if (or when) this happens, I won’t be talking about it. Not in videos, not on my blog. I’ll deal with it myself, without involving “ZOMGitsCriss” into it.

There was one person on the internet I was stupid enough to care for and trust with my stuff without thinking once that they might turn out to be the exact opposite of what I though they were. I made a mistake ... one that I’m willing to accept and pay the price for. So, if it will come to it, I’ll take it. I will never do something, or stop myself from doing something, out of fear. I was never nobody’s victim and I’m not about to start now. Shit much worse than this happened (and is happening as I type) to billions of other people, so even taking any of this too seriously is petty and selfish from my part.

Whatever will come, will pass.

This is what I'm doing now ...

Update and such :/

2010-02-12T14:09:00.000-08:00

Hey *dare* ;)

I know it’s been a while since I made a video or updated my blog but some *stuffs* happened and I haven’t been feeling that hot. I’ve been in another car crash, the second one in the last three months. Yeah, what are the odds of that ? This time I was in the bus. It was dark outside and the highway was poorly lighted so the driver didn’t see this woman crossing the road … he avoided her at the last moment but the sudden maneuver caused the bus to roll over on the side. Nobody got badly injured but some of us did end up in the hospital, including me, as I had a big ass piece of glass from the bus window stuck in the back of my head – for two (literally) bloody hours. The nurses weren’t sure if they should remove it or not so I had to wait for the doctor, which wasn’t as painful (I only felt a weird pressure but no actual pain) as it was annoying. God I hate hospitals! Anyway, it was nothing serious, though I needed a couple stitches and had to do a bunch of tests with a bunch of doctors to see if my brain works properly (did it ever?). It turned out that I’m just as crazy as I was before, so they let me go home. A couple days later they removed the stitches and now even the remaining “bump” is gone … but I still have this annoying head ache which prevents me from making videos. It’s not as bad as it was yesterday though …and not nearly as bad as it was 2 days ago, so I should be good soon.

Other than that nothing exciting happened. Starting two weeks ago, two of my favorite people on YouTube – Gary (Inmendham) and AntiBullshitMan - got caught up in this debate about circumcision, causing a fallout between them. Which sucks. Being on ABM’s side got me blocked by Gary, which also sucks. But I guess that's life and such ... meh.

So yeah, now you know what’s up with my lack of “internet activity” : it’s been a really shitty couple of weeks and I been feeling kinda down. But hey … at least I don’t live in Haiti , right ?

To end this blog on a lighter note, today it’s Darwin’s anniversary and I remember with a bit of melancholy reading him when I was a teenager … and the impact he had on my view of the world at that time. So happy Darwin’s day everyone! :)

Also, today is Peach’s birthday and even if she’s not that thrilled about it, I wanna tell her happy birthday . And Peach, I wish for you everything that I would wish for myself. Have a great year darling <33

What the .....

2010-01-10T12:59:00.000-08:00

I really have no excuse for this :/ Since I can't make a YouTube video now, I wanted to do ... something. Oh c'mon ! It's not like you never seen a lady dancing like a crazy hoe on crack and cleaning her room before, eh ?

P.S. : The song is "Hold Tight" by Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich

Green for Iran ?

2009-12-30T19:08:00.000-08:00

So there is this “green revolution” going on on youtube meaning that if you support the people in Iran you should turn your channel icon in green. And I've been getting messages about it , asking me if I’m gonna do it and if I support the people in Iran (which, ofcourse, I do) and what do I think about all this and a few were asking what is the green movement about. So I just wanted to talk about it a bit because you may be used to me having very strong opinions on things and with this I honestly just don’t know.

So this is what’s going on … earlier this year in June the Iranian people voted on their presidential elections. And the battle was between the last president Ahmadinejad who basically rules a dictatorship-like regime in Iran … Iran is now a theocratic Islamic republic, meaning that God , or in this case Allah, is considered to be the supreme ruler and the Government operates on Islamic based principles .

The second candidate for presidency was Mousavi who is a reformist and apparently the majority of Iranians who want to change the current theocracy into a democracy supported him.

When Ahmadinejad won the elections, the result surprised everybody and it was concluded that the election were a fraud so the Iranians took the streets into a huge protest militating in support of Mousavi and democracy. But the law enforcements acted very aggressively and a lot of people were shot to death or beaten up or arrested. And this reminded me so much of the Revolution that took place in my own country back in 89. Anyway this is what the green movement is about … green was Mousavi’s color for presidential campaign but it turned into a symbol of the fight for freedom and democracy and protest against the fraudulent elections. So of course I support Iran in this and as a humanist I strongly oppose the theocratic regime there.

BUT … there are also other things to consider. For instance, while Ahmadinejad always spoke very strongly against the United States, Mousavi declared that his foreign policy plan will focus on reducing tensions with other nations. This includes negotiating U.S. Which is not a bad thing but my main concern is that the sudden support shown for the green revolution may be not what it seems and that US may be more interested in Iran’s nuclear weapons and oil and having another "pet government" there ... and less in the Iranian people . I mean, if you look at what happened in Afghanistan and Iraq , the people there were also promised freedom and in turned into a total different thing.

So this is what my concern is … I’m just afraid the this fight for freedom, which I’m certain is very genuine and our support for it, which is also genuine, might be misused.

Anyway, like I said, I am not sure about this, I just don’t know ... so please share your ideas with me because I'm interested in what you're thinking, as for me the situation is far from clear. And again, I do support the Iranian people, democracy and freedom. Always.

I like the Christmas tree (and so does my cat)

2009-12-25T10:37:00.000-08:00

The Christmas tree has always been my favorite part of Christmas, even more so then the presents. I was the one decorating the tree year after year ever since I could do it myself.

It may seem strange that I still wanna have a tree even though I will be by myself in the house with no kids around (except for some guests that are just about to arrive for a short visit) but for some reason decorating the tree always brings me much joy.

I also liked presents when I was a kid because having very little money my mom always made me presents herself and I cherish them to this day. However, now days Christmas seems to be more about consumerism and no one ever gives hand-made presents anymore. And why does it have to be Christmas to be generous anyway ? I have a lot more things to complain about related to this Holiday but hell with it, I don’t wanna ruin your merry-ness :)

So here is a “decorating the tree” video and don’t bitch about what I’m wearing. I’m feeling festive y’all ;) I wish I could have featured my cat cos she came in right after I finished recording and was very pleased with it. Btw it’s an ecological tree that I’ve had for several years.

Bitchy, depressed blog

2009-12-22T05:07:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had one of those mornings when you wake up so depressed you just go “arghhhhh please no, not another day!” ? Yeah, today is one of them. Yesterday I realized I will no longer have a person in my life, someone I care about deeply. Isn’t it strange how attached we get to so many things even if we know …well, at least if we think about it, that at some point it will, with no doubt, end.

And I am talking about ALL the things that we become attached to, whether it’s something you like to do that at some point you won't be able to do it anymore, or if it's a pet that you know it’s gonna die ….or a person, because that’s gonna end too. They will in the worse case die, or just leave you or simply turn out to be different from who you thought they were or who they seemed to be. Either way it will reach an end and you will get hurt. By the time we are 80 (if we ever reach that age) we have been heartbroken and crushed so many times we are just damaged shells of what we used to be and can’t even recognize ourselves in our young times memories.

And yet, we have to bond and care … it’s just nature’s way to keep us going. Our desire to live / will to survive is obviously stronger when we are attached like this. However, I do consciously try to avoid it and most of the times I succeed. It’s very rare that I let someone get close to me … and I never once cared about a person to later stop caring about them. Never happened. And I’m talking about all kinds of relationships, from an ex boyfriend to family, friends, whatever. Even after years went by with no contact and I still care about them and if I allow myself to get swept in the memories, I miss them deeply. And even though I know many people can go from caring about someone to not giving a fuck about them, I know for sure that “endings” are no fun for anyone. Anyway, no matter what happens we do go on … more damaged and fucked up every time but we continue. With few exceptions.

I also hate how distracting those personal dramas are. I feel like … well, not like a have a “mission” but I do see the world for what it is and I feel like I have to do something. Because most people don’t want to see it, they are content with making the best out of each day and never stop to take a look around. We are destroying ourselves, we are destroying the world we live in and everything around us. And if we who can see that don’t try to change it ..who will ? Whenever I see Maryam Namazie speak I get humbled by her will and bravery. I hope someday I will grow enough "balls" to do more than just talk to a camera.

But I don’t think it’s gonna happen today. Today I plan on watching a movie, maybe make a book review if I’m up for it and hopefully we’ll get some clear skies cos I always feel better after stargazing. Btw …thanks M. for putting up with my moodiness ;)

If you had the patience to read all this crap, I'm really sorry ;) Here is a real activist, Maryam Namazie's :

Smoke

2009-12-08T12:46:00.000-08:00

I watched a couple videos about drugs and their "relationship" with spirituality and I was about to make a reply but after I turned on the camera , as I was thinking about what I was about to say, I realized that Gary (DoNotGod, Inmendham, etc on YouTube) said everything there was to be said and I remained "wordless" so instead this turned into a smoking video.

Yes I use pot, not everyday but most of the times I use it a couple times a week, although there are times when a couple months go by without smoking just cos I don't feel like it. The thing is, I admit I smoke it because I like it, not because I think it's "beneficial" (for me) in some other way. And I like it cos' it makes me feel good without having to pay a high price for it (not talking about money). I never got into harder drugs. I never even got into smoking tobacco precisely because (for me) the price I'd pay is not worth the pleasure I'd get from it. I know people smoke pot for different reason but please just stop with the "argument from spirituality" ... smoking pot doesn't "enlighten" you, it doesn't make you see things clearer, it doesn't make you understand things better, it doesn't make you a better person and it certainly DOES NOT lead you to "another dimension". It's just chemicals affecting the brain, nothing more , nothing less.

However, I do hate it when heavy drinkers are preaching about how bad pot is. It may be for you but not for me. I do drink on occasions but never to get drunk because I DON'T LIKE being drunk. I like being high. For me, alcohol is an inhibitor while pot is an activator. When I'm drunk I just feel nauseated and wanna go to sleep. When I'm high I feel like I wanna dance and write and think and talk about everything and fuck and go out in the rain. I just feel good and for me personally, in some 12 years since I've been an occasional pot smoker, there have been no side effects besides the fact that sometimes (rarely) my eyes sting a bit for a couple hours.

Anyway, here's the smoking video ...I know it's all pointless and shit but I just got Hollywood like that today. What can you do ?

Thank you Alan

2009-12-01T02:14:00.000-08:00

For my charity auction winner :)

More details are in this video by dprjones :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igKym4pcONM
My auction link was this : http://tinyurl.com/l8fox

Making k-rina

2009-11-29T09:37:00.000-08:00

I was about to go out and for no apparent reason decided to do this. I'm bored. I really miss making videos and editing them ...

Shakira fail challenge

2009-10-18T03:45:00.000-07:00

It's the challenge for DefenderOfReason, this will be on her channel along with her challenge and Peach's challenge. Oh and the music is from a Shakira concert, I didnt add sound effects and shit.

Find more videos like this on Soap Box

If you dont know what this is all about , watch her video :

Pizza for David

2009-10-02T16:05:00.000-07:00

We made a deal one day that if he makes a video I will make him a cooking vid. He forgot about it. I didn't :P

Happy birthday to you ...

David's channels :
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheFinalHighlander
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheHumanHighlander

Cat video :/

2009-06-14T12:51:00.001-07:00

Find more videos like this on Soap Box

But dude, religion is harmless .....

2009-04-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

What about the moderate religious people? Te ones who don’t use their religion to discriminate or to wallow in ignorance, what harm can religion possibly do?

I really don’t have anything against religious people as long as their views are not hurting others. My husband is a Christian, so are my most of my friends. I also have a few Muslim friends. Even on YouTube I am subscribed to a few Christians, Pagans, Wiccans and so on, and I really like them. I have come to understand that some people feel the NEED to have some type of spirituality in their lives. And I have no problem with that.

But this is how I see this: it’s like having all your possessions stocked in a basement that has an invisible door. You are sure that the door is real and you lock it yourself everyday, so you feel safe. But the reality is that anyone can get into your basement and still all your shit … and you won’t even know what hit you and how the hell could that happen.

I haven't slept in almost 36 hours

And so it is ...

2009-04-04T09:13:00.000-07:00

Just a video that got removed by youtube ...

Song Damien Rice - "The Blower's Daughter

I went to the park today

2009-03-28T07:47:00.000-07:00

I have this strange "love-hate" relationship with nature. I never understood how Pantheists can worship nature ... living sentient creatures feeding on other living sentient creatures in a never-ending fight for survival, with no other purpose than just keep on feeding and breeding, until death.

And yet, being in nature always made me feel good. I have such a fascination for the beauty of it, even if I'm aware of the the ugliness behind all of this ….

I like the park. And I like my boots.

Blog, yay

2009-03-28T07:35:00.000-07:00

So I finally have a blog. My intention is to write here and post pictures every day, let’s see how this goes. I only have a crappy Panasonic LZ8 which will have to do until I can afford a decent
camera.

This is in front of a place called "Hangout", it hosts concerts and stuff. I haven't been to a concert in 2 months ....

.